The Best is Yet to Come
by AngelOfRosesCullen
Summary: One night seperated two lovers. Now, four years later, they run into each other. Can they get back what was once lost? AH E/B M for Language and citrus later on. TEMP HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first fan fic and I know the first chapter is really short but I promise that it just sets up what is to come for the rest of the story. Sorta like a flash of what happened.**

**Disclamer: I do not own Twilight. That all goes to Stephanie Meyer! I just like to play with the characters in my mind!**

**Chapter 1**

They say that if you let something go and it comes back to you, it's yours. This is something that my mom has told me since I was a kid. It's something she lived by. But I have never lost anything until my senior year of high school. That's when I lost the love of my life. That's when I lost _him_.

I kept chanting that in my head that saying for 2 weeks until I realized that he was never coming back to me. After I caught him with _her_ in a private room at my friend's party, I ran home crying and broken. That was the end of my fairytale story. He was my prince and I was the princess, or so I thought. Reality came crashing back down to me and really knocked me on my ass.

I guess I didn't want him to come back to me now that I think about it. He tried to call, visit, even talk to me at school, but I would either tell him to leave me alone or just plain out ignored him. I didn't look at him because every time I did, I ended up breaking down again. Come graduation time, after seeing him with her, I promised myself I would never shed another tear for Edward Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That all goes to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter 2**

I woke early morning to the song "Friends are Friends Forever" by Michael W. Smith. I turned over in bed and grabbed my phone that was sitting on my nightstand next to my bed.

"Daphne, do you have any idea how early it is?" I answered with a groggy voice filled with sleep as I checked the clock next to my bed.

"Bella! It's seven in the morning. Why aren't you up and at work?" Daphne asked.

Daphne and I were best friends and classmates in college. She was the Yin to my Yang back then. She's the one who took me out to clubs and parties to make me feel better about myself during the worst time of my life when I first arrived in California. After college she moved to Seattle when she got a job offer from "Seattle International Publishing House".

"I took the day off. There's nothing to do at the office that I can't get done at home anyways." I said.

"Well, just talked to the executive editor and he just informed me that his partner just gave her two week notice and he is now looking for a new co-editor. I knew you were mentioning that you wanted to move back to the Washington area to be closer to your dad, so I may have mentioned you to him." This news surprised me.

It's been four years since the day I left that small town of Forks and that life behind. I moved to California and attended UCLA to major in English for my degree. I doubled my credits and was able to graduate in 3 years. I was able to obtain an editor job for a major publishing company and worked my way up the ladder. The only regret I have is staying away from home and away from my dad.

"Really? What did he say?" I asked excitedly.

"He told me to have you fax in your resume so he could take a look at it," she answered.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" I squealed with excitement.

She gave me his fax and e-mail information and I immediately sent him my resume.

After hanging up with her I went to take a shower and really thought about moving to Seattle. I was tired of California and really wanted to be closer to my dad again. Even though Seattle was three hours away from Forks, it was still better than living two states away. The only problem was I'd be living to close to the reason why I left Washington in the first place. It'd be living to close to _him._

I allowed myself to think about him without realizing it. I never allowed myself to give one thought towards him since the day I moved. The only reason why I did not return home during the holidays or summer was because his family lived there still. The risk of running into one of them would be too great in a small town like Forks. I could not even allow myself to see, let alone talk to one of the Cullens. In return I lost one of my best friends. His sister Alice.

Alice was a short, energetic, pixie-like girl who was as sweet as they come. But she had a mean streak to her so you never wanted to piss her off. She and I became fast friends when I moved to Forks from Phoenix my junior year. We both had a few classes together and she introduced me to her brothers, Emmett and Edward, and their friends, Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Rosalie and Jasper were twins. Jasper was Alice's boyfriend and Rosalie was Emmett's girlfriend. Edward and I immediately started have feelings for one another and eventually started dating. Every time we touched it was like a spark ignited between us. The electricity was so thick that we were helpless in our feelings towards one another. I fell in love hard and fast with him. I guess when you play with fire, you get burned.

Because of that reason I decided to stay away from Forks. I always exchanged gifts with Charlie by mail and well wishes by phone. He would spend his holidays down on the reservation with Billy, Jacob, Sue, Seth, and Leah. And I would travel to Florida to see my mom Renee and her husband Phil.

After my shower I grabbed the manuscript I've been reading and picked up where I left off. The story was quite good, but I couldn't help the pang of jealousy that surged through me when the main characters discovered they were hopelessly in love.

_Seriously Bella. Your getting jealous of fictional characters?_

I was only reading for about an hour when my phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Isabella Swan?" A male voice answered.

"This is she," I answered

"Hi, my name is Riley Goodman from "Seattle Publishing". I received your resume today and talked to Daphne about you and I must say I liked what I read and heard. I would like to know if you could start next week. I would like to train you before my partner leaves."

"Oh Mr. Goodman! Of course I'd love to start next week," I replied.

"Please call me Riley, Mr. Goodman was my father. I look forward to meeting you. See you Monday at 7am sharp?"

"Monday at 7 would be perfect."

"Great, you know where the office is?" he asks.

"Yes, sir," I replied.

"Great, have a wonderful week."

"You too."

After I hung up the phone with him I called Daphne and told her the good news. She said we were going out to celebrate when I get to Seattle by going to a hot new club and getting tipsy. I had no problems with that.

I immediately started looking for a place to live and called my dad with the great news. Apparently Jacob was there and he offered to come and help me pack and move. I couldn't turn him down with the mood I was in. I also called into my work and let them know I was quitting and moving back to Washington. The only request they had was for me to finish the manuscript I was reading and they wished me luck.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Disclaimer: As always I do not own Twilight. That goes to Stephanie Meyer.**

**I know this is another short chapter. I'm still getting the hang of all this still.**

**Chapter 3**

I was fortunate to find a beautiful loft near downtown Seattle. It's a one bedroom, one bath that has floor to ceiling windows in the living room and bedroom. There was a skylight above the huge Jacuzzi tub and a stand-up shower next to it. The kitchen was huge, completely furnished with a stainless steel fridge, oven, and dishwasher. The stove was placed on the island in the middle of the kitchen with a breakfast bar attached. The dining room was off to the side where I placed my grandmother's antique table and chairs. The wood was a dark cherry and it matched perfectly with my china cabinet.

The carpet in the rooms was a light gray. The walls were white with a light wood color trim. The curtains were a dark blue that matched my couch and recliners. I had a glass coffee table and a mahogany entertainment center. Both living room and bedroom have gas fireplaces that kept the loft warm so there was no need for a heater.

In my room was my king-sized four-poster bed that had deep blue covers that was a shade darker than my sofa. In the corner of my room was my cherry wood dresser that matched my bed and nightstand. On the other side of the room was my desk with my laptop, and next to it was my bookcase that housed nothing but classical books. On my nightstand I had my homing dock for my iPod and an alarm clock.

The loft was small but it was home to me. The view of the city was beautiful at night and it was quiet.

Jacob helped me get settled in when we arrived. He and I have been best friends since we were kids. After my parents divorced, I would visit my dad during the summers and we would always go down to the La Push Reservation to fish and hang out with Billy and Jacob. Billy and my dad have been friends since they were kids, so it was inevitable that Jacob and I were to become best friends as well. I think our dads hoped that we would become more than friends, but Jacob always looked out for me as a little sister, and I would look at him as a big brother, even though he was a year younger than me.

Jacob was tall for his age, even back in high school. He was about six foot five inches tall, where I was a mere five foot four inches. He was well built like a pro-football player. He had long black hair that went down to the middle of his back and brown eyes. His smile is one that would make your whole body warm up because that's the type of person he is. He's warm and loving. He could have any girl he ever wanted if it weren't for the fact that he was gay. If there was one friend I missed the most in Forks, it would be Jacob Black.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.**

**Chapter 4**

"Well Bells, that's everything" Jacob said as he brought the last box of my things inside my apartment.

"Thank you so much for your help Jake, it really means a lot to me." I smiled.

"No problem hun. You can make it up to me by buying me dinner."

"Dinner would be great. What do you feel like having?" Seeing he helped me, I should at least let him choose the restaurant.

"Hmm…. How about we go to this great little steak place downtown? Then we can meet up with Sam at the club right around the corner?" Sam was Jacobs new "boy toy" as he likes to call him.

"Steak sounds good, but I'm not so sure about the club. It's been a while since I've been on the social scene and I'm not sure heavy drinking is a wise idea for me tonight." I was unsure because every time I had a drink with Jacob in the past, we always ended up drunk. And since I was in California, I learned that me, drunk was never a good thing. I've gotten into plenty of situations. The last situation Daphne came to my rescue and helped me out of. That's how we became friends.

"Oh Bells! I'll be there to protect you and to make sure you stay out of trouble." Jacob pleaded while giving me his puppy-dog eyes and his bottom lip jetted out making his adorable pout.

"Jacob, don't give me the pout, you know I can't resist it!" I tried not to look at him, but he was too darn irresistible.

"Then just give in to your wild side tonight and come shake it with me and my sugar. Who knows, maybe we can find you a good time tonight too." He waggled his eye-brows.

"Oh all right. Dinner than the club. Let me go get showered and changed. Be right back."

"I'll be right here waiting!" he called out to me as I made my way to my bedroom.

I haven't even bothered to unpack all my clothes from the boxes yet, but I managed to find my old clubbing outfits that Daphne bought me when we would hang out in the clubs in California. I pulled out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans that hugged my ass sinfully, a backless black halter top that had just a string to tie around the middle of my back and one to tie around my neck. I paired it with a pair of high heeled Carlos Santana shoes that my mom bought me for Christmas last year. "Can't go wrong with an awesome guitarist who has fabulous taste in women's footwear," she said.

After my shower, I blow dried my hair and curled it with the hot iron. I left it down, giving it a tussle to create the "sex hair" and I applied my make-up. I kept it light, used a little shimmer and created a smoky look to my eyes then applied mascara. I didn't bother with blush because ever since I was little, I tended to blush furiously every time someone either looked at me a certain way or even just complimented me.

I took a look in the mirror and deemed myself club worthy. My outfit showed off the tattoo that I got after my grandmother, Rose, passed away. It was a rose with angel wings, thorns wrapped around the wings and a flame on top. It represents her personality. The rose was for her name, the wings were because she's an angel, the thorns were because she was always a little bit on the bitchy side, and the flame represented the eternal flame that she will always had. I was really close to her and I miss her terribly.

I grabbed my cell phone, my I.D., my credit card, and my car keys, I learned to carry light when going clubbing. You couldn't leave your purse everywhere in those places and I knew I would give my stuff to Jacob to hold onto for me in his pockets. I headed out to the living room where Jacob was still standing looking out the windows.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"Holy smokes Bells! You look amazing! But not as amazing as me though. I'm going to have a hard time keeping the jerks off of you tonight," he stated.

"Thank you and of course you will always look better than me," I replied.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"Let's get this party started!" I said happily.

Of course we took my 1986 Stingray Corvette convertible. It was my baby and it had class. Phil bought it for me and restored it fully as a college graduation gift. It was a metallic blue with tan interior. I had bought black seat covers, with pink and white flowers at the corners, to protect the leather. I always had a heart for classic cars. My dad bought me my first classic in Forks. It was a red 1956 Chevrolet pickup truck. It was Jacob's father's truck and Jacob rebuilt the engine for me before my dad gave it to me as a welcome home gift. All of my friends hated that truck, but it was my first love.

We pulled into the restaurant and Jacob ushered me inside. It was a beautiful old fashion restaurant. All made out of wood. There was sort of a classy western theme to it and it was dimly lit.

"Hello! Welcome to Steer N' Stine!" said the hostess. She was beautiful. She was a tall blonde with piercing blue eyes that oddly looked familiar to me. I couldn't place where I've seen her before.

"Party for two please," Jacob answered her with a smirk.

She paused for a moment, staring at Jacob intently. Her eyebrows knitted together as if she was trying to do a hard math problem.

"Jacob Black?" she asks.

"Yup that would be me," Jacob replied in a confused tone.

"Oh my gosh! It's me! Lauren Mallory!" she said with excitement.

My eyebrows must have shot up to the ceiling by now. Now I know where I've seen her before. She went to high school with me. She was part of the "Bitch Squad" as we dubbed them back then. I only hoped to God she doesn't recognize me.

"Oh hey Lauren. How've you been?" Jacob asks.

"Oh I've been doing ok, still going to school. Classes are killing me," she replied now taking us to a booth in the corner of the room.

"That's great," he replied casually.

The chatted for a few minutes. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to draw attention to myself. It was no wonder she hadn't recognized me. I've changed since then. I've filled out more and worked out a lot. I've cut my hair and it was a little lighter than it was seeing I lived under the sun in California for four years. Not to mention my balance problem had finally been solved with the help of doing yoga, kickboxing, and some dance classes. If she was here working in Seattle, I could only wonder who else is here. My chance of fleeting my past is growing slim.

Dinner was great. Only light conversation filled the silence and I found it comfortable to be back around my best friend again. I missed being able to just sit and chat with him. We talked about his job and how his relationship is going with Sam. He asked me what I expected out of Seattle now that I've returned to the area.

We walked over to the club, called "Twilight", which was literally behind the restaurant and didn't even have to stand in line. Apparently Jacob knew the bouncer and got us in immediately. Sam was waiting at the bar for us and smiled when he took me in.

I remember Sam growing up. He was always tall for his age. Now he stood just a little taller than Jacob and is built just as well. His black hair was cropped short and his eyes were a muddy brown. His smile made crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He was still as handsome as I remembered.

"Hey Bella!" he yelled over the music while picking me up and twirling me around.

"Hey Sam! Long time no see!" I smiled.

"Well you've been gone an awful long time! It's about time you moved closer to home. We've missed you like crazy!"

He leaned over and gave Jacob a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to the bar to order us our drinks.

"What will you have beautiful?" asked the bartender who smiled at me. He sort of creped me out with his smile. It was so huge and you could see all of his teeth.

"Jack and Coke please," I replied. It was my usual social drink.

"Coming right up," he winked at me. I shuddered in displeasure. He really creped me out.

Once drink was in hand, I was relaxing, leaning against the bar with my eyes closed, listening to the music provided by the disc jockey. My head was bobbing up and down with the time of the bass. One song seamlessly mixed in with a new one. Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" blared through the speakers.

_Ugh! What's with Washington? Couldn't they listen to something better than this?_

I looked at Jacob and Sam and saw that they were in deep conversation while holding on to each other tightly. I sighed and took a sip of my drink then decided to take a look at the crowed for the first time. There were girls grinding up against the guys in the most shameless ways imaginable. All this reminded me of the time I used to dance with a certain guy like that back in high school. I shook my head to clear that thought out of my head quickly. I can't allow myself to think about _him_ now.

I finally looked to my right and saw a bunch of booths with people sitting at them. I scanned them all trying to see what type of crowd was there and not dancing. All of a sudden I saw a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair. My view was obstructed by the dancers so I shifted to my left a little and what I saw made my blood boil. It was _her_, Tanya Fucking Denali. The leader of "The Bitch Squad" herself.

I turned away quickly and downed the rest of my drink in one gulp.

_What was she doing here?_ I thought to myself.

Jacob must have known something was wrong because he looked at me with a confused gaze.

"What's wrong Bells? You look a little pissed off now?" he asks.

"Oh it's nothing," I reply.

"Bullshit. If it were nothing you wouldn't be looking like you want to kill something or someone." He knew me so well, even after all these years. He has seen me pissed off more than enough times to know when I got the look in my eyes.

"Really it's nothing. I just saw someone I really did not want to see. Don't worry though, I'm on my best behavior tonight, I promise," I assured him.

He looked me over and decided that I was telling the truth. Although I was, I couldn't help think that if she started trouble first, then I was more than happy to reciprocate the feelings. I can only be good for so long.

I wonder if I walked passed her what would she say or think. Would she recognize me? If she did, would she get in my face and flaunt what she did to me? Would she try to act like we were still friends when clearly we aren't? These are things that were running through my head while I was sipping my drink while trying to zone in on what Sam is saying.

I was pulled out of my thought process when Jacob started to whoop and holler when the song changed to Lady Gaga's "Love Game". He pulled both me and Sam out onto the dance floor.

"I love this song! She is one talented singer who also supports the gay community! What's not to love about Lady Gaga?!" Jacob shouts over the music.

As the song went on, something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I noticed that a few familiar faces just walked into the club. A tall, long legged, blonde with hair that fell down to the middle of her back in soft curls, with piercing blue eyes was what caught my attention first. She was dressed in a tight red halter dress that showed off her curves just right. It fell at mid thigh on her, and red pumps to match. She looked like a real life Aphrodite. No doubt about it, this was Rosalie Hale. She demands attention from everyone by the way she just walks into the room.

Next to her was a short pixie like woman. Her hair was cropped short above her shoulder. It is dark in color. Her eyes are a beautiful hazel color. She is wearing a nice pink flowing dress that hits just above the knee with black pumps. She looks like she has enough energy to last days on end. I knew her immediately as Alice Cullen, sister of he who shall not be named.

Coming in behind them I can see their significant others, Emmett and Jasper. Emmett is _his_ and Alice's brother. He's tall, muscular, brown curly hair, blue eyed, and when he smiles wide, his dimples on his cheeks show. He may look mean, but he's really a big, oversized, teddy bear. Emmett is dating Rosalie, and doesn't mind guys coming on to her because he knows Rose can fend for herself.

Jasper is Alice's boyfriend. He's tall and lanky. He has semi-long, blonde, curly hair and piercing blue eyes. He is the total opposite of Alice. Where she is energetic, he is calm and collective. Jasper is also Rosalie's twin brother.

As they walk by, I can hear part of their conversation.

"I swear that's her car! Who else would have a license plate that reads "IMSwan"?" Alice hisses at Rosalie.

"Alice, it's been four years, she hasn't even been back to see her father. That's not her car because lets face it, she's not coming back," Rose hisses back at Alice.

_Crap! The license plate on the Corvette. I forgot it says "IMSwan"_

I ran to the bar and ordered a shot of patron. Jacob and Sam follow me, after he sees the group, to see if I'm ok. I just assure him that I'm fine.

I don't see _him_ with them so I'm assuming that he's not coming so I relax just a little. Turn towards Jacob and Sam and try to listen in on their conversation when all of a sudden I feel an all to familiar electric current in the air. My heart speeds up and begins to beat out a tattoo in my chest. I tried to ignore it but I soon give into the urge to look at him.

What I saw was breath-taking. The teen-aged boy I loved looks like a walking, living, breathing, Greek God. His bronze hair was in it's usual disarray. It looks like it's due for a cut. His jaw was strong and his nose was perfectly straight. I dare not look at his eyes because if I do, I'd become lost. Instead I focus on the rest of his body. I realize that he obviously works out because even though he's thin, you can clearly see the definition of his biceps and chest through his shirt. He's not as buff as Emmett, but he's not as lanky as Jasper. He's wearing dark wash jeans with a blue button down, long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow.

I finally decided to look into his eyes and immediately lost my breath, as well as myself, with what I saw. His eyes are the same jade green that I remember. They are so expressive that I could look into them and know what he's thinking or feeling without him saying anything.

Like he can feel my gaze upon him, he quickly turns his head in my direction and we lock eyes. I quickly looked away and unsuccessfully fought the blush that was creeping up. I quickly flagged down the bartender and ordered another double shot of Patron and downed it without the salt or lime. I welcome the burn as it races down my throat.

The music changed to Hinder's "Use Me" and I immediately started to sway to it. Hinder is one of my favorite bands to party to in college. I pulled both Jacob and Sam to the dance floor and started to dance with them. With Jacob in front of me and Sam behind me, we started to bump and grind.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Edward watching with a confused look because he didn't recognize me, or if he did, he couldn't understand why I was back. I continued to dance with the boys until I saw Tanya make her way across the club towards Edward and jealousy flared within me.

She leans into his ear and starts whispering something to him. And I started to see red. She now has his attention. Something in me stirred and made me think irrationally. I want him to look at me and see what he's missing. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I quickly started to think of a plan to get his attention back. I decided to do something I used to do in California with my girlfriends when we wanted attention.

I noticed that behind Edward, on the bar, was a poll that went to the ceiling. I quickly went up to the D.J. and requested a certain song that I knew would work out perfectly with what I had in mind. Then I went over to the bartender and asked if I could do a little dance on the bar to get a certain guy's attention. The bartender was all to egar to let me. _Creep!_

The music changed to Britney Spears and Lil' Wayne's "Bad Girl" and I climbed on to the bar. Singing to the song, I sauntered over to where Edward was as sexily as I could. Once I was where I wanted to be, I started to work the poll as if I was a stripper, minus taking off my clothes. I made eye contact with him and winked before I climbed up the poll and hung upside down and held on with my legs, letting my hands roam my body. His eyes were huge and he had a big smile on his face.

The look on Tanya's face was fury. She was fucking livid because I was flirting with Edward and obviously gained his attention away from her. As soon as the song ended, everyone broke out in applause.

Emmett, who thankfully didn't recognize me, held out his hand and helped me down off of the bar. He gave me a huge smile and I blushed.

"One hell of a performance!" he shouts.

"Thank you," was the only thing I can think of to answer him.

"You sure got my brother adjusting himself," he snickered as we noticed Edward sticking his hands into his pockets and not so subtley adjusting his pants.

I blushed further.

I can hear Tanya over the music yelling at Edward about what took place and how he reacted to it.

"What the hell was that about Edward? Who the hell is she and why was she flirting with you? Why can't you ever look like that at me?" She shrieks.

"I don't know who she is or why she did that but I do know one thing, I will never look that way towards you especially after you ruined my life!" He shouts at her.

"Oh here we go again! When are you going to realize that she was a whore and SHE ruined your life when SHE slept with HIM? I was only trying to be there for you and to give you what you deserve!" She retorted.

At this point I was pissed. How dare she talk shit about me. But wait, were they talking about me? It's been four years. They could be talking about anyone. After all, I didn't sleep with anyone while dating Edward. He was my first and only at the time.

"Bella and I could have worked it all out! You didn't have to try to comfort me by dragging me upstairs away from everyone and trying to climb all over me like a bitch in heat!" he argued.

Okay! I've had enough. They were talking about me.

"You think you could have worked it out?" she asked incredulously. "Once a whore always a whore."

At that point I hit my breaking point. I turned around and got in her face.

"Who the hell do you think you are talking shit like that?" I growled.

"What's it to you? You should mind your own fucking business. This has nothing to do with you," she retorted.

Oh this is classic. She doesn't even recognize me.

"Let me put it this way, bitch. You better shut your mouth before I shut it for you." I seethed.

"And you better back the fuck off." At this point Jessica and Lauren walked up right behind her and crossed their arms over their chests. Like they are going to back her up. I smiled and took a step closer to Tanya to let her know I was not backing down.

"What are you going to do about it if I don't?" I asked.

"Step outside and you'll find out."

"You think your bitch squad will protect you from me? You're even more of a pussy if you can't stand up to me by yourself."

At that point the look of realization hit her.

"Bitch squad? Where the fuck have I heard that before?" she asks.

"I'm pretty sure a lot of people have used that name when they see you and your bitches around. But let me tell you this, if you want to make threats and promises, you better make good on them. I'm not a patient person."

She took another step towards me where we were nose to nose when Jacob and Sam came over to break us up. Jacob grabbed me from behind while Sam stepped in front of Tanya and pushed her back gently.

"Come on Bells, she's not worth the effort," Jake murmured in my ear low enough where no one else could hear him.

I stepped out of his arms and walked over to the bar still pissed off. Flagging the bartender down yet again, I ordered a shot of Jameson and quickly downed it. Glancing over my left shoulder I noticed Tanya and her friends make their way back over to the other side of the club while Tanya glanced at me with a dirty look.

Edward stepped up to my left side and decided to talk to me. I didn't really care for friendly conversation so I kept my answers simple.

"So, uh… that was some show you put on up on the bar there. Was it all for me or for the hell of it?" he asked.

"Don't let you ego get too big. I just did it to piss that bitch off," I retorted.

"Well it worked. What's your problem with her anyways?" he asked.

I scoffed.

"Seriously? You really have to ask?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Come on, tell me."

I looked in his eyes and could see that he was really interested.

"Fine. She stole my boyfriend at one point in time."

His brow furrowed.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going to start heading home."

"Wait!" he called after me.

I stopped and turned to look at him. He took 2 steps towards me and stopped.

"Could you at least tell me your name so I'm not up all night trying not to call my worst enemy for information about you? Seeing you two seem like you know each other," he asked.

"In your dreams buddy. And just an FYI. Jake would never kiss and tell. Not unless he values his life," I scoffed.

With that I walked over to Jacob and Sam to let them know I'm going home. We hugged and said our goodnights with promises to call each other tomorrow. I walked out of the club and to my car with my head held high. It wasn't until I got into my car that I let the tears, which I was holding back, fall. I realized that I am still in love with Edward Cullen. And he doesn't even know who I am anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. But I do own alot of the merchandise from the movie!**

**Chapter 5**

I awoke in my new apartment on Sunday morning with my alarm going off. Rolling over and shutting it off, I couldn't help it but groan when I moved. My whole body ached with ever little movement I made. I guess not dancing as much will do that to you. I haven't been clubbing since the last day of college.

I reluctantly got up out of bed and headed into the bathroom to shower and get ready for my whole day of unpacking. While waiting for the temperature to come to a comfortable degree, I looked in the mirror and saw black streaks of mascara dried onto my face from when I cried last night. After I got home I didn't want to do anything but dress in my comfy sweats and long T-shirt and cry myself to sleep.

Stepping into the shower, I let the hot water wash over me and slowly unknot each muscle in my back. I thought about last night on what Edward said. He said we could have worked things out if it weren't for Tanya interfering and dragging him to another room. He thought I slept with Jacob. How on earth did he come to that conclusion? I knew I spent a lot of time on the reservation with him, but that's because his dad and my dad were best friends which inevitably made Jacob my best friend. I understand if that could have lead to suspicions. But what Tanya said was "She ruined your life when SHE slept with HIM." Why would she say that?

I shook my head of those thoughts and pushed them to the back of my mind. Right now I need to focus on unpacking my things and get settled in before I have to go to work tomorrow. I quickly finished up and dried off. I selected only a pair of grey yoga pants and a white tank top to wear and then pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

I started working on unpacking the stuff in the kitchen first because it always has been my favorite part of any house I've lived in. I loved to cook and bake. My thoughts drifted back when I moved to Forks. I moved in to Charlie's house and offered to cook for him because he was a horrible cook. He was always fond of my cooking, and when we ate, he would always hum in appreciation.

Suddenly my thoughts shifted to when I used to cook when Edward, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper would come over for a movie night or a study group session during finals. I would make nachos or even I'd find myself barbequing for them. Emmett would always make it known that he loved my cooking, no matter what I made. In fact, I always had to make twice the amount when he was around.

Then my thoughts led me when I would just cook for Edward and myself. Weather it was a night in when Charlie was working graveyard shifts, or if we were going on a picnic. Those were the nights I cherished, especially the summer after junior year. That's when we became more physical in our relationship. He was always the gentleman, never pushing me unless I said so. When we were physical, he would always be gentle. We would always look into each other's eyes and whisper our love to each other.

I had to push those thoughts out of my head quickly. Those days were over. Edward and I were done. He hurt me so much that I could never even allow myself to think about it anymore. By the time I was done scolding myself, I was completely done with unpacking the kitchen. I decided to unpack the boxes in the living room next.

Plugging in my iPod, I selected a playlist and started opening up boxes and pulling their contents out. Going through my pictures I had, I came across one of Edward and myself in the meadow where we used to visit and have picnics. I was leaning back against him and his chin was on my shoulder while one arm was wrapped around my waist and the other was holding up the camera trying to get the perfect shot. It took him three tries before he finally deemed it perfect.

The meadow was always beautiful. He first took me there on our first date. It was a warm Saturday afternoon and he wanted to have a picnic. He came and picked me up in his silver Volvo at 10am and we drove till we reached the end of the highway where it turned into a dirt road that led into the forest for about a mile. At the end of the road, there were 2 hiking trails that led off into different directions, but we didn't take either trail. Instead we went hiking through the brush and trees for about an hour until we reached a clearing that was perfect circle lined by the trees. The grass was a beautiful shade of green and there were a variety amount of pink, white, and yellow flowers poking up through it.

He led me to the middle of the meadow and laid out the red and white checker blanket and motioned me to sit on it. Sitting down next to me he set the basket down and started to pull out various items from it. Turkey sandwiches, sliced mango and strawberries, crackers, cheese, and bottles of waters.

We sat there all afternoon talking and feeding each other. That was the first time we kissed. It was so soft and special. Neither one of us wanted it to end. But when the sun began so lower behind the trees and the cold breeze started up, we knew we had to pack up and head home.

Coming out of my thoughts, I hadn't realized that I was crying. Tears of pain from remembrance fell from my cheeks and I brushed them away with the back of my hand. This is the reason why I couldn't allow myself to think about him. The pain was just too much to bear from just remembering the simpler times. I wished that we were still in those times. Never having a care in the world, just focusing on us.

The rest of my day went on with me remembering everything that happened between us while I unpacked.

When I finished unpacking, I looked at the time and it was only 4pm. I decided to call my dad and see what he was up to and see if he wanted to have dinner with me. When he agreed, I quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt and pulled on my old black converse shoes and drove out to Forks.

Forks hasn't changed much since I left. It was still the same rainy town that I remember. I had to pull over at the first sign of rain and put my top up on my car. Thankfully it didn't start pouring until five minutes later.

I pulled into the parking lot of the old diner my dad loved to eat at and got out. The police cruiser was parked next to the building so I knew my dad was here already. Walking in, I spotted him next to the window at the same booth we used to sit at back when I moved in with him. He looked up at me and smiled. I returned his smile and walked over to him. He stood up and greeted me with a hug.

"Good to see you Bells," he said.

"Hi dad," I replied.

My dad and I weren't very affectionate so even the hug was a little awkward but not unpleasant.

"So how's Seattle treating you?" he asks.

"Seattle is treating me good. Went out with Jake to a club last night and caught up with him and Sam."

"Yeah? How are they doing? Haven't spoken to Jake in a few days since he went to go help you move."

"They are doing good. Still love sick fools if you ask me," I chuckled.

"Yeah they are quite the pair aren't they?"

The waitress came over to take our orders. As usual my dad ordered the Steak, medium rare, a baked potato with butter and sour cream, and a dinner roll. I ordered their garden burger with wedge cut fries. I was in no way a vegetarian, but their garden burgers here are to die for.

"So I ran into Esme earlier today," he said. I stiffened. "She said that Edward just got the position as Chef of Staff at the Seattle General Hospital the other day."

"Oh?" was only the response I could come up with.

Charlie knew that Edward and I broke up in high school, though he didn't know the exact details of why. How could I tell my dad that the guy I was in love with was sleeping around? That would bring him to ask about me being sexually active because Edward was. That was a conversation I wanted to avoid and have successfully done so for four years.

"Yeah, she said she was happy and Carlisle was very proud that his son followed his footsteps. She said Edward is happy."

"Well good for him," I said with my eyes down, staring at my hands that were folded in my lap.

"Have you thought about looking him or the others up? You and Alice used to be good friends, I don't know what ever happened to that friendship you had. You two used to be like sisters and inseparable." He looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"Alice and I drifted apart after Edward and I broke up. She decided to be loyal to him so I didn't argue."

"What happened between you two by the way? You never did tell me," he asked.

I took a deep breath and tried to look anywhere but at my father. This was something I didn't want to try to explain to him. I have kept my secret for four years and I was not about to let it out to him now. The only person close to me who knows about what really happened is Jake. And he is sworn to secrecy.

"It's kind of complicated dad," I finally said.

"Honey, what could be so complicated in high school?"

"We just wanted different things I guess." I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't exactly a lie. He obviously wanted Tanya and I only wanted him. He seemed to buy it.

Our waitress came with our food thankfully and silence filled the air as we started eating. About ten minutes went by before my father looked at me and asked, "But why would Alice side with her brother and shut you out of her life? Just because you and Edward wanted different things doesn't necessarily warrant someone a cold shoulder."

I sighed. "I don't know. I guess she didn't agree to what happened and decided that putting distance between all of us would be the best way to deal with the situation. That way it would be a lot less painful for when we went away to college," I said, hoping he would drop the subject.

Thankfully he changed the topic and started talking about things that were happening on the reservation. It seemed Billy bought a new boat and they were going to try it out next weekend. We talked the rest of the way through dinner and into dessert, which was a delicious berry cobbler. I had missed coming here with my dad. This is what I wanted again. To spend time with him and be able to relax and talk.

By the time it was 10pm, I pulled my jacket on, gave my dad a quick hug and promise to call him soon. I was out the door and on the road back to Seattle.

That night, I fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about a meadow and a green eyed, bronzed haired man who disappeared right as I reached out to touch him.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I'm currently writing with any spare time I have and I seem to get the ideas down as I go along. Here's another update. More drama to come! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**Chapter 6**

My alarm went off at 6am and I rolled out of bed and in the shower. Today was my first day of work at the Seattle International Publishing House and I was extremely nervous. I choose a simple black pencil skirt and white long sleeved button down shirt. I paired it with my black stiletto heals. I styled my hair in long loose curls and pinned the sides up. My make-up I kept simple. Only mascara and a little smoky look around the eyes, I only wore light pink lip gloss that tasted of grapefruit.

I arrived at the building at 7am and made my way to Riley's office. What I didn't expect was to see Tanya sitting at the secretary's desk outside of his office.

_Great, now my day has officially gone to shit._ I thought to myself.

I put on the most realistic smile I could manage and took a deep breath as I walked over to her desk.

"Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Goodman," I said.

She looked up at me and her eyes widened with recognition.

"It's you! You're the bitch that was flirting with my boyfriend the other night!" she shrieked.

"TANYA!" a voice boomed from behind her and she jumped.

"How dare you speak to anyone like that while your on MY time! I will not have you insult anyone in this building that way," he said.

She lowered her head and said "Yes sir, sorry sir."

"I am so sorry for that. I'm Riley Goodman. I suspect you are Isabella Swan," he asked while holding out his hand offering me to shake it.

I took a quick glance at Tanya and noticed her eyes were on me and they were wide again.

"Yes sir," I replied. I took his hand and looked him straight in the eye and shook it, firmly. My mom always said, you always got to look into your peers eyes when you shake their hand and make sure you have a firm grip, otherwise you'll look weak.

"Welcome aboard. Let me show you to your office. Tanya, hold all my calls please."

"Yes Mr. Goodman," she mumbled.

As we walked to the other side of the area he said, "Again, I am sorry for the way she talked to you. I take it you ran into her Saturday night at the club."

"Actually yeah I did. It's a long story that you'll probably hear around but I went to school with Tanya four years ago in high school. We used to be friends. I guess she didn't recognize me at the club though. I have changed a lot since I saw her last," I explained.

"Ah." He said.

As we approached my office, I noticed that my secretary was none other than Daphne. She looked up and smiled at me. Then she got up and came over to give me a hug.

"Hi Bella! I've missed you so much!" she said.

"I thought that since you and Daphne are great friends that she should be your secretary and help you get to know your way around the office. And I guess my choice was an excellent one at that. Seeing that Tanya used to by my partner's secretary and you two don't get along…" he trailed off.

"Thank you Mr. Goodman," I said.

"Call me Riley. And the pleasure was all mine," he smirked.

With that he turned on his heel and went back over to his office across the room. I could still see Tanya and she was giving me a dirty look. I smiled back at her and then turned to Daphne.

"So you met the bitch of the place I see," she said.

"I didn't just 'meet' her. I went to school with her." I said.

"Wait, she's _that_ Tanya?" she looked at me bewildered.

"Yup, the one and only," I replied.

"Holy shit! No wonder I don't like her. I always had a feeling she was an evil bitch. Now I know its true."

She showed me around the office and we talked a little and caught up. I told her what happened at the club on Saturday and she laughed at it. It felt good to reconnect with Daphne. I could tell it was going to be easy working together here. It'll be like old times.

Riley called me over to his office and gave me my first assignment. He wanted me to read a manuscript and mark the errors and give my opinion about the piece. He gave me a week to get it done because it was such a thick assignment. I settled into my office and started to read.

By the time lunch time hit, I was starving. Daphne and I headed down to a deli that was walking distance from the work and both ordered turkey subs. We sat down at a booth and talked about good old times. That's when I heard a soft velvety voice coming from the counter. I looked up and saw a head of unruly bronze hair and my heart started to beat frantically in my chest. The electric current started to flow through the air and I knew that if I didn't get out of there soon, he was going to see me.

As I motioned to Daphne that we should leave, he turns around and looks at me. I froze. He walks over to me and smirks.

"Well, well, well. I knew I'd see you again," he said.

"Uh… yeah, I'm just here on lunch break and now I'm heading back to work," I replied.

"We can stay a few, we still got thirty more minutes till we have to be back anyways," Daphne interrupted.

I gave her a look that said _"Damn you! Shut up!"_

"Well if you still have time, why don't you join me and we can talk about what happened Saturday night," he said.

I groaned internally. We sat back down and he sat next to me.

"So why don't you start with your name, seeing you never gave me it, although I gave you mine."

"Edward!" a voice called. I rolled my eyes and looked at Daphne who gave me a pained look.

"Tanya, what are you doing here?" he asks.

"I see your busy catching up with your ex," she said snidely.

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"Oh come on Edward, don't play dumb with me. Your saying your not sitting next to Bella having lunch?"

His eyes widened and I groaned. He looked at me with disbelief.

"Bella?" was all he said.

I took a deep breath and smiled and turned towards him.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan," I said sarcastically and stuck out my hand to him.

Anger flashed in his eyes and I visibly cringed back. Oh my, he's pissed.

"What the fuck? What the hell are you doing here?" he asks angrily.

I looked down at my hands that I was twisting again and again in my lap. "Um… I got a job offer and I took it," I mumbled.

He gets up and grabs his food. I took the chance and looked at him. His face was red and I swore steam was coming from his ears. Oh yeah, he is very pissed. He leans forward and his nose was almost touching mine.

"You should have stayed the fuck away," he spat. Then in a flash he was out the door and walking back to the hospital.

Tanya looked at me with a smug expression on her face. I wanted to slap it right off.

"What the hell is your problem Tanya?" Daphne asks.

"Now that Edward knows that little Miss. Perfect was playing him, yet again. I don't believe I have one," Tanya sang.

With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the shop.

I sat there mortified with what happened for a few minutes. Then I silently got up and walked back to the office with Daphne following behind me.

Once I was in my office, I went straight to my desk and started to type a letter to Riley saying I couldn't do the job. Daphne stopped me while I was in mid sentence.

"Don't do this Bella," she said.

"What?" I feigned stupidity.

"You're quitting. After one day you're going to quit when the going gets rough. This is not the Bella Swan that I know. The Bella Swan I know wouldn't let some prissy ass bitch get in the way of what she wants. The Bella Swan I know wouldn't quit or back down from a challenge," she said with firmness.

I sighed. She was right. I quit on Edward, quit on my dream to going to school here in Washington with him and my friends. I ran away from my problems with my tail between my legs. I wasn't that person anymore. I've changed and grown up. I went after things I want and stuck to my choices to see them followed through. I'm not the same girl I was in Forks and Daphne was the one who helped me change. She knew me better than anyone else.

I shut down the letter without even finishing it and sat back in my chair and took a deep breath.

"I need time to think," I said to her.

"I'll leave you to it. Let me know if you need anything," she said. And with that she walked out of my office and shut the door behind her.

What was I going to do? I was happy I was back in Seattle and close to my dad again. I had missed him and what little time we spent together bonding. I knew I hurt him when I left Washington to go to college in California without even an explanation other than "I just need to get away from here".

I also missed spending time with Jacob and the gang in LaPush. Jacob was my best friend and he was always such a great person to hang out with. Even on my worst days he would always make me laugh. Jacob was always a warm person. He was like a personal sun to all of his friends. I needed his help more than anything right now. He would know what to do to make me feel better about my decision, because right now, I feel like it wasn't the best one I've made.

I decided to call Jacob to talk to him. I fished out my cell blackberry out of my purse and pressed the number on my speed dial that was assigned to him. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey Bells! What's shakin'?" he answered the phone.

"Hey Jake, are you free to talk right now because I could really use your help," I replied.

"Um… I'm currently on my way to a meeting, but I'm free tonight. Want to go out for drinks? Say around six?" he asks.

"Drinks at six sounds good. Where you want to meet?"

"There's this bar downtown called Volturi, I'll meet you there," he replied.

"Great I'll see you there." With that we hung up.

I want his advice on how to handle things. I'm so confused about the whole situation. I work with one of the people who destroyed my life. This was going to be the most uncomfortable job I've had since working with Mike Newton at his parent's store. I just hope that Jacob could give me advice on how to handle her.

When five o' clock hit, I walked out of my office and said my good bye's to Riley before headed home. I still had an hour before meeting up with Jacob so I decided to take a quick shower and change into something more comfortable. I decided on my light colored jeans and a light blue t-shirt with some white tennis shoes. I made sure I didn't wash my face or hair so I didn't have to touch anything up before going out.

I arrived at the bar Jacob told me to meet him at six on the dot. I walked in and looked around. It was a typical bar, dark wood flooring and walls, there were tables scattered around the room that were covered with black table cloths and a single candle lamp that was lighted on each table. The bar top was at the back of the room and had a huge mirror behind it. There was TVs mounted in the corners of the room. Then there was another room off to the side that held pool tables.

I spotted Jacob at the corner of the room at a table and walked over to him. He got up and gave me a hug and motioned for me to sit down with him.

"What's up love-bug? You look like you've had one hell of a day," he said will flagging down a waitress.

"You could say that."

"Hey! My name is Christel and I'll be your waitress for this evening. What can I get started for you?" the blonde waitress asked.

"I'll have a martini, extra dry," Jacob said.

"Rum and coke for me please." I really wasn't in the mood for the soft shit right now, even though I should be because I had to be at work tomorrow.

"Coming right up," the waitress said then turned and walked back to the bar.

"So what's going on?" he asks.

I told him about everything that happened today at work and at lunch. He never interrupted, which I was grateful for, and kept a neutral face on the entire time. By the time I was finished I felt like breaking down in tears.

"So Tanya knows it's you and she used that as a weapon as soon as the opportunity presented itself with Edward? Man that's one twisted bitch. She's bound and determined to make your life a living hell," he declared.

"Tell me about it," I muttered.

"Well you know how I feel about Edward. I think you should stay away from him. He's no good and he just proved my point."

Jacob and Edward always had a mutual dislike for each other… Well dislike it putting it very mildly. They really _hated_ each other is more like it. When ever they ran into each other growing up, they always had to get into fights, weather its fist fights are arguing fights. When I moved to Forks and started dating Edward, they toned it down to evil glares at each other but never violent, out of respect for me. Of course that didn't stop them from trash talking the other.

"I know Jake, I know. But I can't help it, when ever I see Edward; I still feel that pull somehow. It feels like I'm drawn to him by some unexplainable force. And there's always this electric feel in the air. I don't know what I'm going to do. I still love him ya know?" I explained.

"Bella, I know you still love him. And before this whole Tanya situation, he was really good for you, I'll admit that. But honey, he hurt you. He cheated on you with her. I don't know what changed between you two, but you didn't deserve that," he said while he put his hand over mine, a very friendly gesture of comfort.

"Tanya said that I slept with you. You know, the other night at the club after my dance on the bar? She said I ruined his life after I slept with you."

Jacob started laughing at that. "Oh my god! I was gay back then, how could he believe that?" he wailed, causing multiple people to look over at us. I blushed and ducked my head down in embarrassment.

"Remember you didn't want anyone to know until after you graduated? So Edward had no idea you were gay," I explained.

"Oh shit! That's right. But why would he think that we slept together? Just because we were friends and we spent a lot of time together doesn't mean we were sleeping around," he pointedly said.

"That's what I'm wondering. Who would have told him that?" I asked.

"Hmmm… Well no matter. It's his own fault that he lost you. Now we just got to find you a nice hot piece of meat to go out with. And I'm sorry but Sam is currently unavailable," he snickered.

"Oh drat! I was hoping to convince him otherwise," I said snapping my fingers.

I was thankful for Jacob. He always knew how to make me feel better. And with everything we talked about, I felt ten times better than I was earlier.

"Hey, we are going to the club again on Saturday. You in?" he asks.

"Yeah. Let me see if Daphne would like to come. We haven't been clubbing together in years." I replied.

**A/N Well there you have it. Both Tanya and Edward knows it's Bella and there's a lot of drama going on!**

**Let me take the time to direct you to some of my favorite stories that you absolutely need to check out!**

"**Silver Strand Nights" by GreenEyedGirl17**

"**Master of the Universe" by Snowqueens Icedragon**

"**The University of Edward Masen" by SabastienRobichaud**

"**High Anxiety" by EdwardsBloodType**

"**The Handcuff Bracelet" by Lykosdracos**

**And any story by Coldplaywhore and Hunterhunting. These 2 are very talented!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for your support. I'm trying to update as soon as the chapters come back from my beta (who happens to be my sister).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. **

**Chapter 7**

The rest of the week went by with the same routine. I would wake up early, shower, dress, eat breakfast, and get to work. When I arrive, I would hastily go to my office and try to avoid Tanya and her smug glares. Once safely inside my office I would boot up my computer, check my e-mails when Daphne would walk in and tell me what I had planned for the day. After she left I would read the transcripts that was assigned, give Daphne the ones I finish to hand in to Riley, then start the new ones. Lunch time I would go out by myself to the smoothie shop that was the opposite way from the deli and have a pineapple, strawberry, orange, and banana smoothie. After that I would return to my office, again avoiding Tanya, and continue with my work till it was quitting time.

Today is Saturday night and I couldn't be more thankful for the weekend. I had asked Daphne if she wanted to meet me, Jacob, and Sam out at the club and she agreed very quickly. Now I just had to find an outfit to wear. I decided to settle with a white camisole and a pair of gray Capri shorts. I pulled out my black skater shoes and white socks. Tonight was all about comfort so I left my hair down and used a flat iron on it. My make-up was just some eyeliner, mascara, and some pink grapefruit flavored lip gloss.

When I arrived at the club, Jacob was waiting outside for me. I found upfront parking, luckily, and walked over to him where he picked me up for a hug.

"Can't…. breathe….Jake…." I wheezed out because he was hugging me so tightly.

"Sorry," he said putting me down.

"It's no problem. Where's Sam?" I asked.

"He's waiting inside. You look good tonight. Going comfortable?"

"Yup. Long week at work so I want to be as comfortable as I can be tonight." I said.

He nodded in understanding as he led me into the club. We quickly found Sam over at the bar talking to the bar tender, who wasn't the creepy guy this time, and soon had our drinks sat in front of us.

"Hey Bells!" Sam exclaimed.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hey yourself."

A few moments later Daphne came in and sat with us.

"Just like old times eh Bella?" she said.

"Yeah. I miss this," I replied.

She smiled and then got an evil gleam in her eye. I knew that gleam. That gleam means that she was up to no good. And when she was up to no good, I usually am pond off to some unsuspecting guy who she hopes I would hook up with.

"Oh no, I know that look in your eye and there is no way that's going to happen," I told her seriously.

"Come on Bella, "she whined. "How long has it been since you've gotten laid?" she asks.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I happened to have a guy who I go to for a quick fuck when I need it," I lied.

"You're a horrible liar and you know it Bella Swan."

Ok she had a point. I was never good at lying. She knew all of my quirks when I lied.

_Ugh! Here we go again. Now there's no stopping her from trying to hook me up with some guy. This is going to be bad… unless…_

Ok so I had an idea come to me as I saw Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie walk in the doors. I noticed Edward wasn't with them, but I knew he'd be here. So I better make this work fast before he shows up and ruins my fun.

"Oh. My. Gosh! That guy is a hottie!" I said as I pointed over to Emmett.

_Heh heh heh. Yeah that wasn't subtle at all. I hope she doesn't notice that I'm trying to play my way out of her scheme. _

"Your right, look at those muscles. I bet he could hold you for hours against the wall." She said.

_Oh yeah, this is going to be too easy._

I then realized that Jacob was nearby and I quickly glanced over towards him. He hadn't acknowledged our conversation because he was in a deep conversation as well with Sam. Now's the time if I ever wanted to get Daphne off my back. I can only hope Rose doesn't go all "whoop ass" on me for "hitting" on her boyfriend.

_Here goes nothing…_I thought to myself.

"I'm gonna go make myself known to muscles over there. Be right back," I said.

As I walked over towards Emmett, I was trying to find a way to tell him about what I was doing and why.

As I approached him, he looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey if it isn't the Firecracker! Hoped you were going to be here tonight!" he exclaimed.

"Err… Thanks, I think. Hey could you help me out a bit? See that girl over there by the tall tan-skinned guys?" I asked. He nodded. "Well she wants me to "hook up" with someone and I'm not really interested. Could you kind of act like your attracted to me? I have no intentions on making Rose pissed off at me or anything, just trying to get my friend off my back." I hadn't noticed my slip until it was too late. I only hoped he didn't.

"Sure thing Bells!" he happily said.

_Wait, what?_

"What?" I swore he said my name.

"What? You didn't think I know? Edward called us on Monday and told us who you were. Trust me I was shocked when I heard that you were back in town and that you were the one who did that little dance on the bar last week," he explained.

"Damn Edward and his big mouth," I muttered.

"Don't blame him Hun," he said.

"He's pissed at me isn't he?" I asked

"No not pissed…." I sighed with relief. "Furious is more like it."

Great… Just what I wanted to hear.

_It's your own fault for making him that way stupid. You could have told him last week when you saw him. But no. You had to go and get all possessive and dance on the fucking bar like a little slut and then refuse to tell him your name._

Damn voice in my head.

"Well I don't know why he's pissed off at me. I'm the one who walked in on him while he was all over Tanya. He has no reason to be pissed off at me," I exclaimed.

"You don't think Edward doesn't have a reason to be pissed off at you?" A voice, which was not Emmett's, shrieked. I cringed. I knew that voice. It belongs to a little pixie who may look harmless, but could tear you a new one if you pissed her off.

"You're the one who cheated on Edward. You're the one who was sleeping around!" Alice shouted at me. I sighed and turned towards her. Might as well get it over with now.

"Alice…" I started but she interrupted.

"No! I will not have you hurting him again. You need to stay away from him. Do you understand me? Stay away from Edward, and us. Or so help me, there will be hell to pay if you don't listen," she said with venom lacing her voice.

She thought I was sleeping around. Who told her that? I want to know so I could rip them limb from limb and then set them on fire.

I sighed. I knew better than to go against Alice, even though it was just to defend myself by telling her the truth. With my shoulders slumped and my head hung low, I turned around and started to walk away. Just then I bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I muttered, still not looking up.

"No you're not," a velvety voice said with a hint of anger laced into it.

_Great. You just got chewed out by Alice and now Edward is here to finish the job. This is all you need right now._

I took a chance and looked up at him. Fire burned in his eyes and his jaw was tightly set. Shit, he really looks pissed. No wait…. Furious is what he looks.

"Edward, I…" I started.

"What are you doing here Isabella?" his words were harsh. I felt like I shrank ten sizes under his glare.

"What you think you can come back and you and my family will be all "buddy buddy" again?" he asked.

"No, it's not like that…" I tried to explain.

"Just save it Isabella. You're not welcome around _my_ family anymore. Go back to your piece of shit friends."

With that he pushed me aside and went over to join the rest of the gang. Tears started pooling in my eyes and I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to prevent them from spilling over.

I walked back over to where my friends were, feeling dejected and more alone than ever. It felt like their words were knives and they just stabbed my heart over and over again with them. He called me Isabella. He hasn't called me Isabella in a long time. It was always his way of distancing himself from me.

Daphne noticed the change in my demeanor and quickly looked over to where Edward was.

"What did he do Bella? I'm gonna rip him up!" she shouted.

"Daph, no. Please. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it." I whispered the last part.

_You should have stayed away. You were never worth it. He was always above you._ My subconscious said. I always knew that but he made me believe otherwise.

"Bella, don't say that. Your so worth it. _He's_ not worth it if he is just going to kick you to the curb," she said.

Just then Jacob looked over at me and saw the look on my face.

"Bells? What's wrong?" he asked, clearly concerned.

"It's nothing," I quickly told him. Daphne looked at me wide-eyed and I gave her a pleading look. _Please don't say anything._

"You sure?"

I nodded. Thankfully he believed me and turned and went back to talking to Sam. I turned around and started looking around the club, anywhere but toward their gang. Then I realized that there was a live band playing. Hmmm…. My mind started working.

Walking over to the stage, I tried to think of a song that would express the way I feel right now about Edward. When I realized the perfect song, I only hoped they knew it and would play it for me.

When the lead singer announced that they were going to take a break, I quickly got his attention.

"Hi, um… My name is Bella and I wanted to request a song." I said. He said his name is Shawn. When he asked what song I wanted, I quickly told him the song in mind.

"Yeah we can play that song. How about this, we'll play and you sing it?" he asked.

"Uh…" I stammered. Could I get up there and sing in front of all these people?

"Come on, it's easy. Just focus on one single person and act like they are the only one in the room with you."

"Um… okay."

I am scared shitless right now. Shawn told the band what was going on and all of them looked at me and gave me a good luck smile. I didn't need luck; I needed a miracle to pull this off.

"Ok we are back and we have a special someone with us who will be singing our next song. Everyone please welcome Bella!" Shawn announced. The crowed cheered.

"Um… Thank you. This song goes out to a certain someone. You know who you are." I said.

Then the band started playing the song: "SOS (Anything But Love) from Apocalyptica. I looked directly over at Edward and began to sing.

Bound to your side and trapped in silence  
Just a possession

Is the sex or only violence  
That feeds your obsession

You send me to a broken state  
Where I can take the pain just long enough  
That I am numb  
That I just disappear

So go on and fight me  
Go on and scare me to death  
Tell me I asked for it  
Tell me I'll never forget  
You could give me anything but love  
Anything but love

Does it feel good to lie  
Hurt me with nothing  
Some sort of sick satisfaction  
You get from mind fucking

Oh, stripped down to my naked core  
The darkest corners of my mind are yours  
That's where you live  
That's where you breathe

So go on and fight me  
Go on and scare me to death  
Dare me to love you  
Tell me I'd never forget

You could give me anything but love  
Anything but love

Without any faith  
Without any light  
Can dare me to live  
Can dare me to lie  
Inside I am dead

So go on and fight me  
Go on and scare me to death  
I'll be the victim  
You'll be the voice in my head  
You could give me anything but love  
Anything but love  
Anything but love  
Anything but love  
Anything but love  
Anything but love

As the song winds down, I felt more powerful now that all my feelings were out there for him. Shawn give me a hug and whispers that I did well in my ear. Then I walk off the stage and back to my friends. I take a chance and look at Edward from the corner of my eye and he looked shocked. They all looked shocked. My inner subconscious patted me on the back.

_Good job!_ It said.

I couldn't help the smug smile that crept up on my face as I ordered another drink.

"Wow Bella! That was amazing! You were amazing! I hope that dumb fuck learns that he lost the best thing in his life!" Daphne rambled on.

"Yeah well, it needed to be said. And he wouldn't let me get a word in edge-wise earlier. It just made those feelings that much stronger. But it really hurt to go up there and let them all out.

I know I should feel better about what I did, but I just hurt worse you know? Like I didn't want to tell him. I wanted to work it all out. I'm _willing_ to work it out and make him understand that I didn't do the things he claimed I did."

"Bella, as long as _you_ know you didn't do anything wrong, you shouldn't care what he thinks. If he truly believes that you cheated on him, well then, that's his fault. He doesn't deserve you then," she said with nothing but compassion and understanding in her eyes.

"Thanks Daphne. You really are the greatest friend. What would I do without you?" But more importantly, the question is _where _would I be without her?

_You'd probably be still drugged up in that sleaze ball's apartment. _Good point subconscious, as usual.

"You know you love me," she said.

"Hey Bella, Sam and I are going to head out," Jacob said.

"Oh, okay. Have a good night then Jacob. Don't do anything I wouldn't do… twice." I said.

We all gave each other hugs and said goodbye and Jacob and Sam left.

"Well what do you say we make do with the rest of the night and get smashed and dance till our feet fall off?" Daphne asked.

"Lead the way girlfriend!" I said happily.

We danced our asses off and took cabs home seeing we were too drunk to actually drive. I hated to leave my baby in the club parking lot over night, but it had to be done. I would go back and pick it up first thing in the morning.

Once back at my apartment. I stripped down to my underwear and left my camisole on, went into the bathroom to wash my face, and laid down in bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and passed out for the night. But it was a fitful night's sleep.

**A/N: So everyone knows its Bella. And Bella let Edward know how she feels. **

"**SOS: Anything but Love" by Apocalyptica can be found here on YouTube**

**http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=9n8sUH255lE**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thank you for all your support! You guys have been amazing! Currently trying to find the time to actually write so I'm sorry if updates seem a little slower than normal. Things in my life are getting a little hectic but I'm still putting ideas down on paper as often as I can.**

**This is a little dark chapter. So be forewarned. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. **

**Chapter 8**

The next morning I woke up feeling like I was ran over by a freight train. My mouth feels like cotton and it has a not so pleasant taste. Ugh! Why did I agree with Daphne to drink so much?

_Because you were trying to hide the fact that you're still heartbroken and you were trying to drown your sorrows with tons of vodka shots._

Yeah… thanks for that little information.

I tried to get up so I can go to the bathroom and get an Advil and some water, but as soon as I start to sit up, I feel like I was going to be sick. The room was spinning so much that I just jumped out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

_Well that'll teach you that 5 Jack 'n Cokes and god knows how many vodka shots isn't a good idea._

ARUG! Could you please shut up already? Stupid subconscious always got to think its right.

_I am always right remember? I was the one who told you that Jake could handle his own problems that night and look where that got you. _My subconscious pointed out to me.

Okay! I get it. Sheesh, could you say 'I told you so' anymore bluntly?

After pulling myself off the floor, I brushed my teeth and took two Advil pills. After I went to my living room and turned on the TV and settled down on the couch to watch the news.

An hour later I remembered that my car was still in the parking lot of the club and I needed to go get it. So I got up, showered, changed, and called a cab. Looking like shit I made my way down the elevators and to the awaiting cab. I pulled out my blackberry and started to check my e-mails when I came across an e-mail from James. I gasped.

Why would he be e-mailing me? What does he want? I could feel my chest start to tighten and my breathing becoming erratic. I hesitated but opened the e-mail and what I saw made me feel sick. There was a picture of me at the club from last night while I was singing. How did he get this?

When we arrived at the club I threw enough money to cover my ride at the driver and quickly made over to my car where I noticed a folded piece of paper stuck to the windshield. It had my name written on it in elegant script. I pulled it off and opened it up. All that was written on it was one word, "soon."

I quickly dialed Daphne's number and she answered on the third ring.

"This had better be good Bella. I feel like shit and I need to sleep this hangover off."

"Daphne, he's here in Seattle!"

"What? Who's here Bella?" she asks.

"James," I replied.

I can hear the shifting of covers on the receiving end.

"How do you know?"

I told her about the e-mail and the letter that was left on my car and she gasped.

"Bella you need to call the police," she said.

"They won't be able to do anything," I said.

"Bella he's stalking you! You need to let them know and get a restraining order out on him," she said forcefully. I knew not to argue with her on this. She won't back down.

"Fine, I'm on my way to the station now. I'll talk to you later," I said before I hung up.

While on my way to the police station, I couldn't help but to think of that night.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_I was at a frat party drinking beer and socializing. It was my freshman year and I was trying to make as many friends as possible. I also was drinking to I could forget about my heartache for a while._

_Across the room there was a good looking blonde haired guy that had beautiful hazel eyes that were boring into me. I could feel the weight of his stare on me and I walked over to where he was. We talked for a while and I learned his name was James and that he was majoring in Chemistry. He was a junior here at Cal State._

"_Want to go somewhere a little quieter so we can talk without having to shout over the music?" he asks._

"_Sure," I replied._

_We made our way towards the back of the house and into a bedroom. It was a small room that had a queen sized bed and a mahogany dresser in the corner. We sat down at the edge of the bed and began to talk about our likes and dislikes. _

_After a while of talking, he asks, "Bella, can I kiss you?"_

"_Um… Sure, I guess," I was uncertain._

_He leans forward slowly, licking his lips. I licked mine in response and let out a tiny moan. When his lips touched mine, they were soft and warm. I couldn't help but to compare to another set of lips I longed for. There was no spark with James but the kiss was nice. _

_His hand came up and tangled in my hair at the back of my head and he tilted it so it allowed him to deepen the kiss. After a while of heavy kissing I broke it off breathless._

"_I'm sorry James. I can't do this right now." I said, still trying to catch my breath._

"_What's wrong Bella? I thought this is what you wanted," he said._

"_It was, or at least what I thought it was what I wanted. But I'm just not ready to go into this kind of relationship right now."_

"_Bella, I don't do the whole relationship thing. And it wasn't nice for you to lead me on. You know you want to do this, and I want it too. Just sit back and relax and let me take care of you," he said with a gleam in his eye that made me shiver, and not in a good way._

"_James, I'm sorry. We better get back to the party," I said, trying to get up off the bed._

_He stopped me and pulled me back down where he was straddling over me. He brought my hands above my head and held it there with one of his hands. His other hand traveled down my body and I thrashed under him._

"_You're going to learn how to sit still. Do you understand me? I don't want to have to do something that you might regret later," he snarled._

"_Please, James. Don't…don't do this," I pleaded. Tears welling up in my eyes and spilling over._

"_Oh the fun I'm going to have with you," he murmured._

_I tried to thrash under his body some more, trying to throw him off of me. It was useless; he was a lot heaver than me._

"_Oh princess, seeing you can't sit still, I'm going to have to make you relax a little." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a needle with some liquid inside._

"_Please… don't…" I begged again._

"_Oh, I love it when you beg me baby," he cooed._

_Suddenly I felt a prick in my inner arm and everything started to go hazy. I felt heavy as I fought to stay coherent. I suddenly felt my pants being taken off my body and him pressing against me. Without wasting anytime he slams into me with his dick. _

_All of a sudden the door slams open and a big guy with dark hair and a girl comes rushing into the room and the guy pulls James off of me. The girl rushes to my side and helps me get dressed and calls the cops._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I don't know how I got there, but when I came out of my memory, I was sitting outside the police station. The memory of what James did to me broke me down again and I couldn't control the sobs that were coming out of my throat. That night I met Daphne and her brother Shawn. They were my saviors and we became best friends ever since.

I talked to the deputy and showed him the note and the e-mail and had a restraining order filed on James. As I made my way back home, I decided to stop off at the coffee shop and get myself a soy green tea latte and an apple fritter. I was walking out of the shop when someone bumped into me. I looked up and realized that it was a woman who could rival any model. Rosalie.

"Sorry," I muttered while looking down and flushing a little.

"Bella?" she asked.

I looked up at her and saw curiosity in her eyes.

"Hi Rose," I replied.

"Hey, how are you? I saw you last night at the club but didn't get a chance to talk to you. Alice wouldn't let me say 'hi' or anything."

"Oh. I'm doing okay. Just needed a little something in my system after the night I had last night." I was truly surprised. Rosalie was _talking_ to me. She was being _nice_. Rose and I never got along very well. In fact, Rose never got along well with anyone.

"Yeah, so I saw. Oh great performance last night by the way. You really shocked the shit out of us with that song. Edward most of all," she snickered.

"Thanks… I guess."

"Do you have time to sit down and maybe catch up a little?" she asked.

She wanted to catch up? What is going on? Have I stepped into a parallel dimension or something? It was always Alice who would be the one who wanted to be nice and talk. Never in my life would I dream that Rosalie would be that way.

"Um… sure. That'd be great," I smiled.

"Great! Let me get my coffee and I'll meet you over at a booth?" she asks. I nodded.

I picked a booth in the corner next to the window. I wrapped my hands around my cup and waited for her to sit down. When she did she looked at me while taking a sip of her coffee.

"So what have you been up to lately?" she asks.

"Oh, I'm working a lot now. I work at 'Seattle International Publishing House' as a co-editor," I answered.

"No shit. So you work with Tanya?"

"Unfortunately, yes. She's my partner's secretary," I said with a little agitation in my voice.

"Well it's no wonder she's being a bitch towards you," she pointed out.

"Yeah well I try to ignore her most days. She hasn't changed much has she?"

We both laughed.

"No, she sure hasn't."

Rosalie never liked Tanya. She always warned me that something was wrong with that girl, but I never listened. I always tried to see the good in people.

_And look where that got you?_

Good point…

There was an awkward silence that settled between us. I can see questions burning to be asked in Rosalie's eyes and I mentally braced myself.

"So, I have to ask. What happened between you and Edward exactly?" This is the question I was dreading to hear but more than happy to answer. Maybe she could help me out on how to handle Edward and Alice and somehow restore my friendship with the one who has always been there for me when I needed girl time.

I tried to swallow the lump that formed in my throat.

"Well, what's to say? I walk into Mike's house that night of the party and started looking for Edward. Someone said they saw him go upstairs. So I went up and started opening doors trying to find him. When I did find him, he was all over Tanya with his shirt unbuttoned and it looked like she was in the middle of undoing his pants," I said while glancing down at my drink.

"Where were you before the party?" she asked.

"Jacob's place. He was having… err… relationship problems. He was taking it hard so I went over to help him out. He practically had to throw me in the cab of my truck to get me to leave and convince me that I should be at the party instead of his place," I let out a little chuckle at the thought of him picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder while carrying me to my truck.

"So Jacob was in a relationship when you two slept together?" My eyes shot up to hers in disbelief.

"Jacob and I never slept with each other. Hell, we never even kissed each other on the lips or anything like that. Jacob has been, and always will be, my best friend," I stated firmly. "Besides, Jacob doesn't swing that way," I added.

"What? What do you mean 'he doesn't swing that way'? Are you saying Jacob's gay?" she asked with her eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah. He's been gay since freshman year."

"I had no idea."

"No one knew except me, Quil, Embory, and Sam. He didn't want anyone else to know because being gay in a small town at that age would just cause him more problems then he needed. He made me promise not to tell anyone." I said.

"Wow. So the rumors weren't true. You and Jacob never had a thing for each other."

"Who started those by the way? I just heard about them last week while overhearing Tanya yelling at Edward." I was curious. I wanted to know who started those rumors that led to the ending of my life. I wanted to confront them and shove my six inch high heels up their ass.

"Well I heard it from Lauren who in turn said that Tanya saw you and Jacob on the beach making out."

"Tanya, that figures." That bitch has always been nothing but trouble. Why I tried to befriend her I will never know.

_Let's kick her ass!_

Couldn't agree more.

"Anyways, yeah, I never slept with Jacob, but every time I try to explain that to Alice or Edward, they always cut me off and tell me to save it for someone who cares. So what am I supposed to do?" I ask while shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, I would just say it anyways, even if they try to tell you to 'save it'. They really need to listen to you. They are the ones who screwed up everyone's lives by believing Tanya," she states matter-of-factly.

"I would rather just except the fact that things between us will never be the same and just cut my losses," I mutter.

"Bella," she sighs. "Of course things aren't going to be like they used to be. We have all grown up and changed. You grew apart from us when you went to California. But that doesn't mean that we can't take a shitty situation and turn it into a good one," she reasoned.

I sighed. "You're right Rose. But just to point out, I didn't grow apart from you guys because I chose to go to California. I was pushed out of your lives and was forced to grow apart from you," I pointed out.

"You're right. And for that, Em and I are sorry. We knew better than to trust Tanya. But the doubt was always there after Alice pointed out you spent a lot of time with him."

"It's because we were best friends. We still are. But it will never be anymore than that between us. I never even looked at him like anything but a friend and brother."

"I guess it comes down to Edward being insecure in your relationship that put those doubts in his head," she mused.

"I never wanted to make him feel insecure."

She looked at me apologetically.

"I know Bella. But it's his own fault for acting before he really thought it threw and didn't bother about talking to you."

"It's all my fault though. I gave him reason to believe by going to Jacob when he called even though he told not to. I made Edward think that Jacob was more important that our relationship."

"Bella. It's. Not. Your. Fault. Edward should have been more trusting in you. He should have talked to you when he first started having doubts. Then, maybe, you'd still be together. It was just a misunderstanding between you two."

"I don't know if he'll see it that way. Or if he'd ever forgive me," I whispered the last part.

"Bella, if he doesn't see it that way, then he's an idiot. You need to make him see that you never were in the wrong. You two belong together Bella. Let me ask you something. Do you still love him?" she asks.

I hesitated. Do I still love him? I looked into her blue eyes and tried to contemplate if I still was really in love with Edward Cullen. I knew last week I thought I still loved him. The way my body reacted when I saw him was like it remembered what it was like to hold him and to be with him. My heart hurts every time I see him, think of him, or even hear his name. But did that mean I still love him?

"I don't know," was all I could say to her.

"Think about it. If you love him at all, then fight for him. Make him understand," she said.

With that she got up.

"It was good to see you Bella. Maybe we could get together sometime," she handed me her card and told me to call her.

"Hey wait!" I called out after her. I dug through my purse and pulled out my business card and handed it to her.

"Bye Bella," she said.

"Bye Rose."

And with that she turned on her heel and headed out of the coffee shop.

Rose gave me a lot to think about. Do I still love Edward? How will I be able to talk to Edward and Alice if they didn't want to listen to a word I say. They don't even want me to come near them. What am I supposed to do?

I knew I had to think about these things. But right now was not the time. Right now I needed to think about the psychopath that is out there stalking me right now.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait. Life is getting in the way right now. Trying to make sure I have everything done before I head out to celebrate my birthday on Sunday. Yay! Ok on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Twilight". But I do own the 3 disc DVD set of "New Moon"!**

**Chapter 9**

After talking to Rose at the coffee shop. I went home and collapsed on my couch. The emotions from the day were clearly taking their tolls on me.

I thought about what Rose and I talked about. I knew I still cared about Edward. That my heart ached even after all these years, even after all he did to me. But I really didn't realize how deep I was in with him back then. He definitely left his mark on me back then. For months it felt like there was a huge hole in my chest from where my heart used to be. And I couldn't get a full breath in my lungs. Every time I thought about him or saw something that reminded me of him, I would start hyperventilating while trying not to let the tears fall from my eyes.

Now that I'm here in the same city as him again, I couldn't help but to think of him constantly. I wondered what he was doing. What did he do while I was away? Does he still think about me? Does he even care? Why did he hurt me so bad? What could make him believe that I didn't love him enough that I had to go cheat on him with Jacob? These were the questions that needed to be answered.

I needed to talk to him soon, but right now there were more important things that needed to be taken care of. James was out there and he was someone you didn't take too lightly. After he was arrested, Daphne told me a little about him and his "conquests". I knew what I had to do to protect myself. I needed to get back into training.

After what happened to me the last time, I took it upon myself to enroll into some self-defense classes along with kickboxing and taekwondo. Ever since moving here to Seattle, I have yet to look for a gym that I could get back into my workout routines. I remembered seeing a gym a few blocks from my apartment and made a note to call in and see how much a membership would be.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, it was six o'clock at night and I needed to get some food in me seeing I really haven't had much to eat all day. I got off the couch and went to the drawer that I started to store all of the take-out menus of the restaurants that were around here. I felt like some Chinese food so I called in an order of Orange Chicken with fried rice and some of their delicious spring rolls.

Within twenty minutes the food was delivered and I settled in to watch a movie on the couch. I popped in "The Prestige" and started to drool over Christian Bale. I thought he was hot as Batman, but my mom said he looked even hotter in this movie. And I have to admit, she was right.

After the movie I got changed for bed and tried to fall asleep. Once I did, I had a reoccurring nightmare that I have not had since 3 years ago. I dreamt of that night where James had raped me.

* * *

The next morning came with my alarm sounding promptly at five and I rolled over with a groan to turn it off. After waking up several times last night due to the nightmare, I only got about three hours worth of sleep. Not nearly as much as I would liked but it would have to do. I'll have to go to the coffee shop and order extra shots of espresso in my drink today.

I arrived at my office five minutes late with coffee in hand and was damp from the rain. The weather was not nice today and I had forgotten my umbrella in my apartment so I had to sprint from my car to the building. I began to read through the story I've been working on for the past couple of days and I found it very daunting.

Lunch couldn't come sooner. Instead of a smoothie that I've been having the last couple of weeks for lunch, I felt like a sandwich. I knew there was probably a high chance of running into Edward there at the deli but I couldn't find it in me to really care. I actually hoped that I would run into him so I could try to talk to him to set things straight.

On my way to the deli I called up the gym that was near my apartment and set up a time where I could come in and start my membership. I also wanted to set up a sparring partner for taekwondo and I prayed that they weren't in the beginner's level of it. I needed a challenge so I could push myself as hard as I dared.

When I walked into the deli I ordered myself a turkey cob sandwich with chips and a bottle of pink lemonade. While waiting for my meal I looked around and noticed Edward was sitting in a booth with what looked to be like a co-worker due to the blue scrubs they both were wearing. His co-worker's back was towards me so I couldn't get a look on who it was but he had dirty blonde colored hair that was short but had a few spikes in the front. He looked slightly muscular and in shape judging by the way his muscles in his shoulders was.

I grabbed my sandwich and took a deep breath and walked over to them. Edward's eyes snapped up and I gave him a shy, timid, smile. He did not return it. Instead he looked a little irritated, probably because I was on my way over to him.

"Hey, can we talk?" I asked a meek voice while looking down at my tray of food.

"What do you want Isabella? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Bella?" the co-worker asked. My eye snapped up to him and I recognized who it was.

"Hi Mike."

Mike Newton was the all around all-star, popular guy in high school. Every girl wanted to date him. But he had only eyes for one girl for most of the time. And that girl was me.

"Hey how are you? I didn't know you were back in the area." He smiled.

"Uh… yeah. I just moved back a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh cool. Maybe we should hang out some time."

"Okay." I responded.

I looked back at Edward and asked, "So can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say to you," he said coldly.

"Well I have something I'd like to explain. It won't take long at.." he cut me off.

"I don't care what you have to say to me. I don't want your excuses or explanations. I just want you to leave me alone."

"Edward it's not what you think," I tried again.

"It's exactly what I think! You're such a hypocrite. You go off and sleep with Jacob, but when I almost sleep with Tanya, you run away. You didn't even want to try to work things out and explain to me why you did what you did. You just ran away from me and cut off all lines of communication with me."

"Edward I would like to explain why now if you'd just let me."

"It's too late Isabella. You had your chance and you blew it. Go away and leave me alone." His mind was made up from the start. I could see he wasn't going to budge.

I sighed, defeated. My shoulders slumped and I looked back down at my feet and nodded my head.

"Okay. Fine, I'm sorry I interrupted your lunch. I guess I'll see you around Mike."

"See you Bella," he said with a sympathetic smile.

I walked away from them and made my way back to my office. I passed by Daphne without any word and went straight for the manuscript. I had a hard time concentrating on what I was reading because my mind kept going back to Edward. He doesn't want to listen to me. He doesn't want me. I obviously didn't mean as much to him as he meant to me. I am unwanted by him and that really hurt. It felt like all those wounds, that healed years ago, opened up again and was bleeding for everyone to see. I found myself falling into the darkness again.

After work I went home and changed into some gray and pink workout clothes and made my way to the gym. I signed up and paid the fee and was told I could start my routine today, which was great because I haven't worked out in a few weeks.

I started on the treadmill and plugged in my iPod and selected an easy flowing song that would help me relax and get me through the three miles I always did. This was just my warm-up.

After my three mile jog, I went over to the punching bags and took my padded gloves and changed my music to my favorite band, 3 Days Grace. They always put me in the right frame of mind for kickboxing. I pressed play and "Break" filled my ears. I timed my punches with the beat of the song. Soon I started to add some kicks into it.

I was so emerged into my routine that I didn't realize that I had an audience. My body was humming from my workout that it didn't even register the electricity in the air that was normally a warning that Edward was nearby. I happened to glance at the mirror in front of me and notice that he was on the treadmill that was behind me and he was at a fast paced jog facing me.

The song from my iPod then switched to "Animal I Have Become". I adjusted my movements and speed to the song while listening intently to the lyrics. I started to throw in some complicated combinations to challenge myself to keep in time with the rhythm of the song.

**I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself**

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal

I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal

So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become

Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become

Two hours of beating up the punching bag in front of me, I found myself sweaty and exhausted. My muscles felt the burn that came from an excellent workout. They throbbed from the adrenaline that burned through my veins just moments ago. I knew I would be sore in the morning, but it was well worth it. I let out a lot of aggressions tonight. I'll have to come back again tomorrow night and let out more that were pent up inside of me.

I walked over to my bag behind the punching bag and took off my gloves. I started to unwrap my hand from the medical tape and noticed that they were red, swollen, and had little cuts across the knuckles. I knew I needed to clean them up when I got home and put them on ice. This was natural with how much force I was using in my punches. Soon my knuckles will be calloused again and I won't even feel the slightest sting that I feel now from them. I reached into my bag and found the cream that prevented infections and lathered some on top of the cuts and then put the clear liquid that would seal them up like a band-aid.

I threw my things back into my bag and grabbed my small towel that I used to wipe the sweat off my face and wrapped it around my neck. I picked up my bag and headed out of the gym without another glance at Edward. I feel like if I looked at him again, my heart would break even further. Once I walked into the cool, moist, night, I shivered. The coldness against my hot skin felt great. I held off my emotions and waited till I got home before I would allow them to rack through my body.

Once I got inside my apartment, I let all the emotions I felt come through and I fell to the floor and sobbed. My heart felt like it was split in two and I struggled to catch my breath. The tears flowed freely as I crawled to my bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped out of my workout clothes and sat under the spray for what seemed like hours, crying. When I got my tears under control I washed myself up and got out to dry off. I cleaned my cuts on my hands thoroughly and went to the kitchen to grab a back of ice to bring the swelling down.

That night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep instantly as soon as my head hit the pillow.

* * *

As morning came. I found myself sore but yet well rested. My body ached from the workout I gave myself the night before and so I went to the bathroom and took two Advil and I brushed my teeth and got ready for my day. As I was getting ready I couldn't help but to think about everything Edward said to me yesterday. I felt like I was unworthy of anyone's love. His words weighed on my mind like a hundred pounds.

Somehow I found my way to work and began the mundane tasks that were now part of my everyday life. Lunch came and went, and soon it was time to go home.

I changed and went to the gym and found Edward walking in while I began my kickboxing routine. He occupied the treadmill behind me again but didn't bother to take notice that I was there. I felt even more depressed that he didn't even care that I was even in the room. Soon I found myself at home and after showering and eating dinner, I went to bed.

* * *

This became my routine for months. I started to separate myself from all my friends and even my family. My dad and mom would call and at first I would pick up the phone and listen to them chat away about their lives, I would hardly contribute to the conversation. Then I would let my answering machine or voicemail pick their calls up. Soon after their calls came far too few and then they stopped coming.

On the weekends I would go down to the bar that wasn't to far from my apartment and have a few drinks until I felt numb all over. I started to fall into a deep depression because the friends I thought I had, who I loved in this world most of all, hated me. I felt like I was unlovable and unwanted. Jake hardly called because he was too busy with his own life. Daphne started dating someone who she thought was "the one". I became jealous of her. I thought I found "the one" for me back in high school. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me. He would always have my heart though. I could never look at another guy the way I looked at him. I could never love another guy the way I loved him.

One Thursday night, I came home from the gym and found my answering machine blinking with five messages. I pressed play and listened in. It was from Phil.

"Bella, its Phil honey. Listen, I have some bad news. Your mom passed away today. She lost her battle with breast cancer."

Just when I thought my world couldn't get any worse, it did. I fell into a deeper depression and I collapsed to the floor and balled my eyes out.

**A/N: "Animal I Have Become" by 3Days Grace www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=xqds0B_meys&feature=channel **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I'm now 24 years old *cry*. My birthday was a fun one. My husband and I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain and had a blast. I'm a little sun burnt and sore from being tossed around on the roller coasters but it was well worth it.**

**Okay so last update we learned that Edward is still being a dick head to Bella, and she also lost her mom. Now what is in store for our dear damsel in distress? Let's find out.**

**Disclaimer: As always, I do not own "Twilight", although I wish I did. I wouldn't be holding down 2 jobs if that were the case. But my parents did give me the "Twilight" Journal set for my birthday (yes they feed my obsession too!).**

**Chapter 10**

"_Bella, its Phil honey. Listen, I have some bad news. Your mom passed away today. She lost her battle with breast cancer."_

_ Just when I thought my world couldn't get any worse, it did. I fell into a deeper depression and I collapsed to the floor and balled my eyes out._

I don't know how long I laid on that floor, but the tears stopped flowing from my eyes. Numbness filled my body and all I could do was stare at the wall. The light from the sun filtered through the window, casting shadows from the buildings nearby.

Pulling myself off the floor, I looked at the clock and realized that if I didn't start moving, I was going to be late for work. By the time the clock said 6:45am I was showered, dressed and out the door.

The day passed by slowly and I honestly don't know if I got any productive work done. Daphne was out sick this morning so I didn't have her giving me sympathetic eyes watching over me at every second of the day. So I could sit back and do nothing but think about the message I got last night. My mom was gone. My very best friend that I had all these years. I let the memories of the years wash over me one after the other as I wished that I didn't push her away like I had. Surprisingly there were no tears that day. Only numbness passed through my body.

When it was time to go home for the night, I drove to my building but didn't go inside. Instead I walked around for what seemed like hours until I came across a country bar. Memories of the times my mom used to take me to them in Phoenix came to me. I remember the laughter and fun we used to have with her friends and their kids. The way she used to smile whenever a song she loved came on. All the lessons she used to give me on Line Dancing.

Before I knew it, my feet took me inside and directly to the bar where I sat down and ordered a beer. I normally don't drink beer but it was the only thing that sounded good at that time. I picked up the bottle that was sat in front of me and took a long pull while turning around and taking in my surroundings for the first time. The place looked familiar, but then again, what place that played country music didn't look the same. The floors were wooden that were polished. They matched the bar top. There was neon signs that were advertizing different beers, scarce amount of mirrors along the walls, and autographed pictures of different country artists. I could name every single one and probably tell you one of their hit singles because my mom would have every CD of theirs in her house. There were wooden tables and chairs lined up around the dance floor and a raised up stage, across from the bar, where a live band is playing on.

_Typical country bar._ I thought to myself.

I sat there and listened for a long while to the band that is playing. They weren't half bad if I do say so myself. They sang a lot of the oldies, but goodies, and a lot of new stuff from the younger generation. I lost count on how many beers I had and I felt a little tipsy, so I knew I had to be at least five beers in considering they don't affect me like my favorite drinks do.

The band started playing a Tim McGraw and Faith Hill song that I knew too well. It used to be _our _song, but now held no meaning to me anymore. "Let's Make Love" was the song I cried to when I listened to it once after I moved to California. It was the song he played the first time when we made love. After that night I downloaded it onto my iPod and played it over and over again while thinking about him. I haven't listened to it since then. Now, listening to it, I didn't feel anything but numbness inside. It wasn't the song I once held so dear to my heart.

_Oh God, am I finally letting him go? Does this mean I don't love him anymore?_

Out of nowhere, I felt that familiar electric hum around me. He's near and my heartbeat picks up double time. The numbness is slowly dissipating and I can feel the pain when I try to breathe. No! I want the numbness back! I don't want to feel the pain that is caused by everything that I've done! I can hear his laughter. He sounds so happy and carefree. Something I could never be again.

I drained the bottle of beer that is in front of me and signal the bartender for another. I want to feel numb again but it's impossible. The pain is setting in and I am struggling to hold it together. The music continues, they play Neil McCoy and George Straight, two of my mother's favorite singers of all time. I turn my chair around and watch as everyone dances to their songs. Then they play Brooks and Dunn's "Boot Scootin' Boogie" and a small smile flits across my face as I remember my mom teaching me how to line dance to it when I was a kid.

I watched as people lined up and started the familiar steps and then couples dancing around them on the edges. The men twirling the women around them and then holding them close by their waists. They had a carefree look upon their faces and I realized how much I missed doing this sort of stuff with my mom. When the song ended the band announced that they were going on a break while the record player would provide the music for the next ten minutes. I turned back to the bar and took a pull from my beer bottle and thought about the good times my mom and me had. She would always go from one activity to another. Never sticking to one thing for more than a couple of weeks. Usually she'd drag me along for the ride and I didn't mind it so much so long as I knew she was safe.

When the band came back from their break they started to play a song that never held much meaning to me until now. Faith Hill's "There You'll Be".

**When I think back  
On these times  
And the dreams  
We left behind  
I'll be glad 'cause  
I was blessed to get  
To have you in my life  
When I look back  
On these days  
I'll look and see your face  
You were right there for me**

In my dreams  
I'll always see you soar  
Above the sky  
In my heart  
There will always be a place  
For you for all my life  
I'll keep a part  
Of you with me  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be

Well you showed me  
How it feels  
To feel the sky  
Within my reach  
And I always  
Will remember all  
The strength you  
Gave to me  
Your love made me  
Make it through  
Oh, I owe so much to you  
You were right there for me

In my dreams  
I'll always see you soar  
Above the sky  
In my heart  
There will always be a place  
For you for all my life  
I'll keep a part  
Of you with me  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you  
My light, my strength  
And I want to thank you  
Now for all the ways  
You were right there for me  
You were right there for me  
For always

In my dreams  
I'll always see you soar  
Above the sky  
In my heart  
There will always be a place  
For you for all my life  
I'll keep a part  
Of you with me  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be  
There you'll be

By the time the song ended, I felt the tears falling down my face. The damn that I've worked so hard to keep closed, busted open and the flood came. I tried to contain the sobs by biting the inside of my cheek, but it was useless. They came just as freely as the tears. I couldn't find the care in me that I was crying my eyes out like a baby in the middle of a country bar that was packed full of people. I put my chin to my chest and let waves of sorrow wrack through my body and sobbed even harder as each swell moved into me.

After what seemed like eternity, I felt two arms wrap around me from the side and hold me to their chest. The smell of perfume wafted up my nose and I realized that the chest wasn't hard or lean, but rather soft and sort of squishy.

"Shhhh, its okay Bella," the familiar voice said.

I opened my eyes and saw curly blonde hair in front of my face and I immediately knew it was Rosalie.

"She's…..she's….she's gone!" I sobbed. "She left me."

"Shhhh… it's okay," she repeated.

"N-no! It's not! I… I didn't get to say goodbye. God I didn't even know she was sick," a new wave of sobs wracked through my body again.

"Emmett, pay Bella's tab, I'll take her outside and wait for you, we're taking her home with us tonight," Rosalie told Emmett.

"Okay, but you know what Alice and Edward is going to say…" he started to object.

"I don't care what they have to say, Bella is hurting and she's my friend. They have no say so over what I do," Rosalie snaps.

Before I knew it, I was being pulled to my feet. My arm is draped over Rosalie's shoulder and her arm is around my waist and we are walking out the door of the bar. She leans me against the wall and I take deep breaths of cold air while trying to stop my crying.

"Where's your car Bella?" she asks with concern.

"I left it at home. I walked here tonight."

"Okay, Em and I are taking you to our place tonight and we can talk about what happened. Will that be okay with you?" she asks as she's pushing my hair back behind my ears. I nodded.

"What the fuck Rose? Why did you just leave….?" A new voice shouted from the doorway of the bar.

"What are you doing with her?" she asks in a harsh tone towards Rose.

"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm comforting a friend who is need. What's it to you anyways?" Rose fires back.

"I told you I don't want her hanging around. She's just trying to make you feel sorry for her. Make it seem like she's not the bad guy when she clearly hurt all of us!"

"You don't know what you're talking about Alice." Rose retorted.

"Like hell she doesn't!" a velvety voice said with anger. My head snapped up and looked him in the eyes. His eyes were dark with anger and his lips were set in a sneer.

"Did you happen to forget who left us? Who cheated in the relationship? Who broke Edward's heart?" Alice said with her hands on her hips. Her voice was harsh and cold. But I couldn't look at her, my eyes were focused on Edwards, pleading with him to understand that no was not the best time to do this.

"You both need to open your eyes and your ears and listen to what Bella has been trying to say all along instead of shutting her out completely. Pull your heads out of your asses for once and have a fucking heart," Emmett said from right behind Alice.

"Oh and I suppose you know better on what happened to Bella that caused her to break Edward's heart? That made you take pity on her when she clearly is the trader in everything?" Alice said sarcastically. "Maybe you should open up your eyes and see that Bella is playing you for suckers. She is the one who che.."

"Jacob's gay," I blurted out. My eyes looked at Alice quickly then back to Edward then finally I bowed my head down and looked at my shoes.

"What?" Edward asked, clearly stunned.

"Jacob's gay. He's been gay since his freshman year of high school. I never slept with him," I mumbled.

"You have got to be kidding me! You honestly want us to believe that Jacob's gay? God Bella, what wouldn't you say to get people to like you?" Alice said exasperated.

"Bella's right. Jacob is gay. I talked to him the other night and asked him straight out," my eyes snapped to Emmett as he told everyone this. "He said he didn't want anyone to know at the time because being in high school and gay was something that wasn't easy for people to understand."

I took a deep breath and moved my eyes back to Edward and his eyes were still on me, but the expression softened a bit.

"I was the only one who knew because I was his best friend. He swore me to secrecy, I couldn't have told you all even if I wanted to. And believe me there were times I wanted to tell you." My eyes never left Edwards and I begged and pleaded for him to understand with my own.

"That doesn't give to the right to leave Edward the way you did," Alice retorted.

"Alice…" Rose hissed.

"What? Some girlfriend and friend she turned out to be. She ran away as soon as she feels threatened," Alice huffed.

My eyes were staring at the ground again when someone opened up the bar doors, allowing the music to flow through them. I started hyperventilating as I recognized the song as Tim McGraw's song, "Don't Take the Girl". The memories of my mom and me sitting on the living room couch listening to this song over and over again as she said it was a song my dad dedicated to her reminding them of their younger years. My legs gave out and I slid down the wall and put my head between my knees and let the sobs flow freely once more.

"What now?" Alice asked, clearly exasperated. Jasper gave her a hard look and shook his head.

Rosalie's arm immediately wrapped around me once more.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong? What is it?" she asked very concerned.

"She's gone," I cried through sobs.

"Who's gone?" she said rubbing soothing circles over my back, trying to calm me.

"My…my…my mom," I cried.

I heard everyone gasp.

Suddenly Edward knelt next to me and put his hand on my arm.

"Renee? She passed away?" he asks.

A new sob broke out through me and I nodded my head.

"What happened?" he asked, seeming very concerned.

I took a deep breath and said, "I didn't know, but she had breast cancer. No one told me until I got the message from Phil last night that she's gone."

"Let's get her to my car," Rose said as Edward moved to pick me up. "No you idiot, I do not want you touching her. Emmett pick Bella up and help her into the car please." Edward's arms were replaced by Emmett's strong ones and I felt myself being lifted up off the ground. I laid my head on Emmett's shoulder and felt the numbness take over me once more. He sat me down in the back seat and climbed into the front while Rosalie sat in back with me, holding me to her and running her hands through my hair.

As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, I felt sleep take over me.

**A/N: Well now everyone knows and Alice still doesn't trust Bella. Don't worry, I'm not going to let Edward back into Bella's heart so easily. He's really going to have to work to be trusted by Bella again.**

"**There You'll Be" by Faith Hill can be found here:**

**http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=wbrRxl7Q2Yk**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. Was having problems with my cable *curses Time Warner* but all is ok now.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. That all goes to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 11**

I don't know how long I've been passed out. When I awoke there was light coming through the window from the sun. I opened my eyes fully and took in my surroundings and found myself in an unfamiliar bedroom. The walls were white and the carpet was a grey color. The bed I was laying on was a four poster and had white sheets with a royal blue comforter. There was a light wood nightstand next to it and a matching dresser next to the walk-in closet that was at the foot of the bed and a vanity dresser with mirror on the opposite wall from the window. There were two doors, one was open and reviled a huge bathroom that had black tile and white walls with a white marble top counter and a white sink. There was a walk in shower. The other door was firmly shut closed which was the door that enters/exits the room.

On top of the nightstand there was a large glass of water and 2 Advil pills. I took them quickly because I awoke feeling my head has been pounded into a wall repeatedly, no doubt the result of the beer I consumed and the crying last night.

I stood up and realized I was in a long pajama shirt that was purple and had a Star on the left side near the collar.

_How'd did I get in this? And where am I?_ I wondered.

Deciding to go explore the rest of the place, I opened up the door and was greeted by the smell of bacon and sausage. I followed my nose down the steps and into the kitchen. The kitchen was amazing. It had white walls with small paintings of whine bottles and vineyards. There were black marble countertops and a raised up breakfast bar with dark colored wood stools. The stove was on an island in the middle of the room and the appliances were stainless steal. There were two stacked, built-in ovens next to the fridge. The floors were white tiled and in front of the stove stood a very much awake Rosalie cooking breakfast.

"Good morning sleepy head!" she said in a very cheerful voice.

"What's so good about it?" I mumbled.

"There's fresh coffee over there on the counter next to the sink. Help yourself. I'm just finishing up here. You still like your eggs sunny side up?" She asks.

"Mmhm," I answered while pouring myself a nice large cup of coffee.

"There's sugar over there and the creamer is in the fridge," she pointed out.

"Thanks," I replied quietly with my head down

I sat at the breakfast bar and sipped my coffee while watching her finish cooking my eggs. She started to load some bacon and sausage on my plate and put bread in the toaster when Emmett came bounding into the room all freshly showered.

"Good morning gorgeous," he cheerfully greeted Rose.

"Morning Emmett."

"Good morning Bella! How are you feeling this morning?" he asks, pouring him a cup of coffee and sat next to me, drinking it black.

"Like shit," I replied with distaste.

Rosalie put my plate in front of me and I stared at it.

"Eat," she commanded with a no nonsense voice. I grimaced and reluctantly picked up my fork and started to eat slowly.

Rose fixed hers and Emmett's plates and sat down next to me.

"So I called Charlie up and got the details on your mom's funeral. I also called your boss up and let him know of the situation and you needing a few days off this week to attend the funeral and the reading of your mother's will. The funeral will be held in Phoenix and I bought three tickets to fly out there plus made reservations at the hotel for us," she said.

"I'm not going," I mumbled, still looking down at my plate.

"Don't be silly Bella, of course your going. You need to say goodbye and pay your respects. Plus Phil is going to need you," she said.

"Rose you didn't have to do this. And what do you mean you bought "three" tickets and that "we're" staying at the hotel?" I ask.

"Well for one, Emmett and I want to be there for you. And two, we would like to pay our respects to your mom. Even though we only met her a few times, we still loved her," she said with a sad tone in her voice.

I sighed. "Fine, when are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. The funeral is Monday morning and the reading of the will is Tuesday afternoon. We'll be back by Wednesday night. You'll be going back to work on Thursday, if your up for it. Riley said you could take the whole week off if you'd like."

"How'd you get of hold of Riley's cell number?" I ask, very interested.

"I knew you worked with Tanya and so I looked in your cell and found his number and called it," she simply said.

Just the sound of her name makes my chest tighten and fury washes through my system. Her betrayal, or lack of friendship, was what got me in this situation with Edward in the first place. I cannot believe how she played me off like she did, just to get what was mine. I felt the rage build and my fist tighten.

My cell phone chimed, bringing me out of my anger. I looked at the screen and saw there was a text from a number I did not recognize. Opening the text, my lungs felt like they shrunk as I started gasping for breath.

"_You are mine! Never forget that my pet. We will be together again soon." _Is what the text read. Only one name came to mind. James.

Rosalie noticed my panic and reached out to touch me. I recoiled from her touch.

"Bella? Are you okay?" she asks. The look in her eyes showed me she was concerned.

"Y-y-yeah," I stammered. "I'm fine Rose." I tried to force a smile but I think it came out more as a grimace.

"Are you sure? You're looking a little green."

"Fine, Rose. I'm… I'm going to take a shower," I said as I got off the stool and hurried up the steps to my bedroom.

Once the bedroom door was closed, I pressed my back towards it and took a deep breath.

_How did he get my number? Where is he and what does he have planned for me? When will he come after me?_ I needed to think about everything. He's playing mind games, trying to get me scared. And it's working.

I headed to the en-suite bathroom and turned on the water as hot as it will go. Letting the steam fill the room, I stripped out of the night clothes Rosalie let me borrow and stepped under the scalding hot water. Just thinking of James brought back that horrible memory and made me feel dirty. I wanted to wash away any trace of him from my body but no matter how hot the water is, or how hard I scrub, I can still feel him on me. I shuddered at the thought of him.

After I cleaned up, I dried off and found clothes laid out on the bed for me. There were a pair of dark wash jeans and a black tank-top. She even laid out a pair of new underwear for me, black, laced, boy shorts. Rose was a life saver. I slipped on the clothes, used the blow dryer in the bathroom and slipped on some black sandals I found in the closet.

I walked out into the living room and looked around. The walls were a beige color and the carpet was a deep red. There was a sectional sofa, loveseat, and a recliner that were white. On the far wall there was a sliding glass door that lead out to the backyard and pool. Pictures hung up on the walls of Rose and Emmett and their families. To the left wall, a big, flat screen TV hung. There was a fireplace to the right where, on the mantel, was pictures of the gang from high school. I was surprised to see me in some of the pictures, with Edward's arms wrapped around me from behind. We both looked so happy. There was a group photo that Esme took from junior prom. A picture of all of us when we went to California the summer before senior year. We went to Disneyland that year and had a blast. Edward and I split off from the rest of the group when no one was watching and we went on Space Mountain, then we headed over to the Tea Cups and had a blast on them. Alice wouldn't go on them because she was afraid of getting sick. We shared an ice cream cone cup from the shop off of Main Street. He bought me a light-up rose during the Electrical Lights Parade and I stood in front of him and he held me while we watched the fireworks show. I found myself smiling at the memory.

"Those were the days, huh Bells?" Emmett came up from behind me and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I sighed.

After a few moments of silence, Emmett spoke again, startling me, "Edward's an idiot."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because he was so blind with jealousy that he couldn't see the truth right in front of him. I guess that makes us all idiots though. We all believed Tanya when she said you were hooking up with Jacob behind Edward's back," he grumbled.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Em. It's understandable why you came to that conclusion. I just wish you guys would have come to me and asked if it were true or not."

"Yeah, me too," he sighed and rubbed the back of his head with his right hand.

We stood there for a few more moments. Finally Rosalie joined us and we sat down and started to talk about what's been going on the last few weeks.

"So, are you going to tell me the truth about that text message you got or do I have to pry the phone out of your fingers and look for myself?" Rosalie asked with a stern voice.

"Um…" was all I could come up with. I really didn't want to mess with Rosalie. She always got her way when it came to things, and I knew that she would go to a great extent to make sure she did.

I sighed with defeat. "Here," I said, handing her the phone.

She took it and looked at the text. Her eyes widened and she looked at me with concern.

"Bella, what the fuck does this mean? Do you have some crazy stalker or some shit?"

"Something like that," I mumbled.

"Well you got some explaining to do," Emmett said after Rosalie showed him the text.

I pulled my feet up on the couch in front of me." Okay, this is hard for me to say this, but while I was in California my freshman year, Iwasraped." I spat that last part out fast while burying my face into my knees.

"Come again?" Emmett asked, confused.

I sighed again and looked at both of them. "I was raped," I said and tears started pricking my eyes.

Rosalie gasped and Emmett's mouth fell open with shock.

"What- How-?" was all Rose could get out.

I explained what happened that night, all the events leading up to where James raped me and Daphne and her brother busting in to save me. By the end of my story, I noticed that Rosalie was crying as well as me.

"Oh my God Bella! I'm so, so, so sorry that all that happened to you!" she cried. She launched herself off the couch and to the recliner, where I was sitting, and wrapped me in a tight hug and whispered in my ear, "You don't deserve this, you deserve to be happy."

After a few moments of us hugging, she released me and sat back into the couch.

"So what does he want now?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know. That's the problem. It appears he wants me, but I'll be damned if I let him do _that_ again to me," I said with confidence.

"So that's why Edward has been seeing you every night at the gym, kicking the shit out of a punching bag," Rosalie muses.

This didn't surprise me. I knew Edward goes to the same gym as me. I see him every time on the same treadmill. But now I know that the punching bag isn't going to be enough. It helped me build my endurance and stamina, now I need to start getting back into my original routine. I just have to find the right sparring partner for it though. I know who to call. I know he'll help me if I explain what's going on. He helped me before back in California.

"So what now?" Rosalie asks.

"For you guys, nothing," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Bullshit! Like hell you're going to deal with this on your own. You need someone to watch you just incase this fuck head decides to show up and start shit," Emmett declared.

"Emmett, I don't want you involved. I have my ways of dealing with James. I can defend myself."

"Bella, you're not dealing with this alone. We are here and we want to help you. This fucker needs to learn that you are not to be messed with," Rosalie interjected.

"Look, I'm going to put a call in to a friend who introduced me to taekwondo and see if he can come up for a while and get me back into shape. I'll be fine, I promise."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes and looked directly into mine.

"Okay, fine. But if you need help Bella, you will call us first thing?" she conceded.

"Of course I will Rose. I promise."

"Okay. Oh and by the way, I have a dress for you to wear to the funeral," she changed topic. Leave it to Rose to change the topic when it was needed. No use of beating a dead horse right?

The afternoon came and I found myself out shopping with Rosalie to look for shoes to match the dress that she wants me to wear. I really hope she chooses ballet flats because I really don't think I'm going to be graceful wearing high heels that day. We've been through three shoes stores and nothing caught her eye yet.

"So, I was thinking after shopping we could go get a bite to eat at the café down the street there. They have really good sandwiches and coffee." Rose exclaims.

"What ever you want Rose. I'm really not that hungry right now."

"Bella, you haven't eaten much all day. We are getting lunch and you are going to eat your entire sandwich, or so help me…" Rose trails off. The look on her face means she doesn't want to be messed with.

"Fine," I conceded.

Four hours and five stores later, I found us sitting in the café with a turkey club sandwich and a large strawberry/banana smoothie in front of me. Rose was having a chicken Cesar salad with a smoothie.

"So we take off to go to the airport at 7am and the plane leaves at 8am. We should be in Phoenix by 10am where Phil is picking us up."

I sighed.

"How are you feeling Bella?" she asked.

"Numb, like it hasn't hit me yet that my mom is gone. I didn't even know she had breast cancer. No one told me. I should be angry about that. But I just can't find it in me to actually _be_ angry, you know?"

"I know honey," she places her hand over mine and leans into the table a little more. "Trust me; I know your hurting right now. You feel like you were betrayed and left alone in the darkness. You have every right to be angry. I'm sure the feelings will come after you get some closure. And that's why you need to go to the funeral, for closure. And when those feelings come, I will be right there with you, to help you."

"Thanks Rose. I just wish other people were with me right now," I mumbled, looking down at my plate.

"They'll come around. Give them time. I think Edward is finally starting to realize what an ass he's been."

I looked up at her in surprise.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well last night he looked remorseful after you let it all out about Jacob and your mom. He looked like someone kicked his puppy. He even tried to reach for you before I stopped him because I didn't think you would want him to touch you at the time."

"He treated me so horrible the last few weeks. I don't know if I can let him be close to me anymore, even if he decides he was an idiot. He really hurt me." I said.

"I can see that. Now that you have his attention and he knows the truth, I don't think it's a bad idea to make him work for a friendship with you, let alone a relationship. He's been an ass entirely too long."

"I know this sounds stupid but, I may have not cheated on him, but he did cheat on me with Tanya."

"Bella that night he didn't even sleep with her. He only got as far as kissing her when you walked in.

"Still, even just kissing her weather or not he doubted our relationship, it's still considered cheating. It still hurts the same," I pointed out.

"True," she agreed. "You know he didn't sleep with her till a few days before graduation? We were all surprised on how fast that moved because it took you guys a year before you even had intercourse."

"Ugh… Tanya is such a slut, and Edward is such a man whore!" I groaned.

"Heh, you hit the nail on the head on both counts. When ever Edward wasn't with Tanya, he was sleeping around with other women. They would always fight because she was always unfaithful to him. She always throws up the fact about his womanizing ways but claims that he does it while in the relationship too. We all don't like Tanya, but somehow she always squirms her way back into Edward's life, and therefore our lives," she shakes her head in disgust.

"Do you think he'll ever smarten up about her?"

"I think he will now. Now that you're back in town and he actually knows the truth about you and Jacob."

"You know something? I think it was Tanya all along who's been playing with us. Think about it, before she shows up, Edward had no problems with me spending time with Jacob. Then all of a sudden, Tanya shows up in town and wants to be my friend. She made hints on how hot Edward was. She also met Jacob the time we all went down to the beach and saw how Jacob and I are around each other, which was no different than it was before. After a few months, Edward and I break up because he thinks that I was screwing Jacob behind his back. And guess who gets the winning prize? Tanya."

Rose was silent for a while.

"Come to think of it, your right. She seems to be the most likely suspect in this. You had something she wanted and did anything she could to get it. That little slut… wait until I get my hands on her." Rose looks furious.

"Wait in line," I mutter while taking a sip of my smoothie.

After lunch, Rose took me to a spa where we both got facials, pedicures and manicures. Then we headed home in her red convertible BMW.

"Hey! How's my two most favorite, lovely ladies doing today? Have a good time?" Emmett boomed while headed our way from the living room.

"It was okay," I answered.

"What are you up to Emmett?" Rose asked. She seems to sense something was up by the way she is looking at Emmett.

Emmett goes wide-eye and swallows big. "What makes you think I'm up to something?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"Emmett…" Rose gives him the bitch brow.

_OOOhhhh that's one ugly bitch brow. I'd hate to be the receiving end of THAT._ I thought to myself.

"Uh… okay. Eddie is in the living room wanting to talk to Bella," Emmett explained.

"Can't take a fucking hint can he," Rosalie mumbles.

"It's okay Rose. Edward and I have a lot to talk about."

"Are you sure? Because I can kick his ass out and you won't have to deal with him till after we come back."

"I'm sure." I smiled, trying to be sincere.

She looked me up and down for one moment before she agreed.

"Fine, just call me if you need me. I'll be upstairs packing."

"Okay."

I walked into the living room and Edward was sitting on the sofa. Once he saw me he hurriedly stood up and pushed his hands into his pockets while looking at me in the most apologetic way imaginable.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," I replied.

We stood there for a few minutes in silence. Neither one of us knew what to say to the other. Finally he broke the silence.

"Can… can we talk?" he asked. He seemed nervous.

_That makes two of us_. I thought.

"Um… sure… I guess." I mumbled.

I walked over to the love seat and sat down, looking at him while he was still standing awkwardly in front of the couch.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I've been treating you lately. I should have let you explain instead of blowing up at you the way I did."

"Edward…" I started but he cut me off.

"No Bella let me finish. Please. I should have asked you all those years ago instead of believe what I heard from others. Part of being in a relationship is trusting your partner, and I betrayed that trust. I threw the trust you gave me back in your face and for that I'm sorry.

"But when I heard that you were sleeping with Jacob, all I could think about at that time was hurting you the way you hurt me. And the first girl I saw was Tanya. I was an idiot. I realized had hurt you and us for good after you walked in and saw us. The look on your face is what I saw every night before I went to bed for weeks. I tried to apologize but you didn't want to talk to me. I understand why you didn't, and I would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed.

"But after a while I became depressed and Tanya was there to comfort me. So I turned to her in more ways than one for comfort. I swear to you Bella, I never slept with her until I thought that we were defiantly over. I never meant to hurt you, but I obviously did. I didn't know Jacob was gay. But when I heard that you have been with him and that you were over at his place that day instead of with me, I was devastated."

Silence filled the air for a few moments, letting me think things through.

He didn't know Jacob was gay. _Yeah we established that the night you came back by the way they talked about you. _He never slept with Tanya, only after he was sure that you were broken up. _Still, kissing another woman is cheating. _He was depressed. _God how could you have pushed him away after that night. You should have tried to talk it out with him. You're just as guilty as he is that your relationship ended. You caused yourself more pain than it would have been._

"Why did you turn to Tanya?" I ask.

Surprised by my question, or the fact that I spoken, he looks up at me. "She said she knew what it was like to be cheated on. That her boyfriend from her last school cheated on her," he answered.

Ah, scorned. She wanted to hurt someone like she was hurt.

I looked at my lap and twisted my hands, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"But why me? She was supposed to be my friend," I mumbled to myself.

"What do you mean why you?" he asks.

"Edward, who told you that I was sleeping with Jacob?" I ask, hoping that it will dawn on him that she was plotting this from the beginning.

"Lauren and Jessica confronted me the week before the party, said that they saw you walking down First Beach with Jacob, holding his hand and kissing him romantically."

_So Lauren and Jessica were helping Tanya. They knew the truth all along._

"And you listened to them? The two girls who would love to throw me to the sharks the first chance they got? You knew those two were infatuated with you and hated me because we were dating. God it's all making sense now," I rambled.

I got off the love seat and started pacing in front of the fireplace. Putting the pieces together.

"I can't believe I didn't see it before. The first few days Tanya was hanging out with Lauren and Jessica. They must have been in on this," I said.

"What are you saying? That it was all planned?" Edward asks.

"Possibly," I answered.

"Bella…" Edward started.

"What?" I answered looking at him only to see sorrow filled eyes.

"Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I stood there staring at him for what seemed like for an eternity.

"Y-you don't have to. I understand if you don't want to. But Bella, I promise you I will never stop trying to make it up to you."

I took a deep breath. "Edward. I don't know if I can forgive you. What happened between us, yes it was a misunderstanding, but, you really did hurt me when you decided to do, whatever it was you did with Tanya, before you asked me if what was said was true."

"I know, it's just… fuck. I was hurting Bella. I thought you chose Jacob over me. How could I even face you after I know that you were with him?"

"You, of all people, should have known that I would never choose Jacob over you. You should have never doubted my feelings for you. I trusted you with my heart, Edward. And I thought I had yours."

"You always had my heart, Bella. Always. You still do. But do I still have yours?" he asks.

"Edward… I don't know anymore," I whispered.

Silence once again filled the air. When I looked up at Edward, I saw tears running down his face. Then all of the tears, that I have been fighting back, come full force as I try to wipe them away.

Edward takes a few steps forward so that he is standing in front of me.

"Bella, I will always love you. My heart is still yours, if you want it. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you. Please, let me try to make it up to you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me someday," he pleaded. He kisses my forehead and his lips linger for a second or two longer than they should. Then he walks himself to the front door and out.

When the door closes behind him, all of the pain of the loss, I felt all those years ago, comes back full force and it is enough to make me collapse to my knees.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry but this is NOT a real Chapter. Just an important A/N**

**I'm forced to put this story on temporary hiatus due to complications in life. **

**Trying to work out my troubled marriage (going to consoling for it) working 2 jobs, being a mom, looking for a better (well paying, and in my degree) job, and having time to complete my story is NOT working out for me right now. **

**Not to mention this last Saturday, I was working one of my jobs, closing by myself no less, and got robbed at gun point, did not make things easier on me (hence why I'm looking for some place better to work at). I'm doing fine, wasn't hurt physically but mentally it's been hard. I've been having nightmares and anxiety attacks over it. I returned to that job today and worked with the owner's daughters and had to force myself out to the front every so often to help customers. But I mostly secluded myself into the back and cleaned the back work area. **

**So with all that's going on in my life, I'm hoping I can return soon and finish my story. I'm sorry that this all is going on and thank you all for all being patient with me. I promise that "The Best Is Yet To Come" will be finished.**

**Thank You, **

**AngelOfRosesCullen**


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